so here's the thing...

Back at Christmas I was pretty sick.  Bad cold that turned into a sinus infection.  During this time, one of the things that seemed to help with the coughing was fountain pop. Specifically Cherry Coke or Coke when cherry wasn't available.

I was sick for over a month and began to drink a large coke 1 - 2 times a day.  After getting better, I continued to drink a large cherry coke at work a day (sometimes twice).   I loved it and enjoyed every minute of it.   That is until my weight started creeping up.

I knew why it was and I just couldn't stop. I was addicted to my daily Cherry coke fix.  I craved it. I had to have it. Plus, this was how i got my caffeine to stay awake.  I don't drink coffee, so I had to get it some other way.

Sigh.... I'm here to say "My name is Laurie and I'm a fountain pop addict. It's been 7 days since my last fix and I'm jonesin for some."

Seriously people this is hard.  I never was like this before. I could easily quit pop, but then again I was never drinking it like I was.  It's hard stuff and I need to find another way to get some energy in the mornings to get me going.   Too bad coffee tastes like...coffee.

The hub and I finally got on the same page and are back to eating healthier/on our diet plan.
We're only 4 days in , but that is a big step considering how we were eating for awhile (especially when our kitchen was in disarray).

My knee still kills and I still need to get another injection scheduled.   My body still aches from the Fibro and all my mishaps.  I've recently had my meds adjusted and I'm feeling a little better.

SO...... no progress reports, but baby steps...

Long time, short post.

I'm doing this via my phone, so this will be incredibly short. Just to say I'm going to post very soon

Migraine Associated Vertigo or Vestibuar Migraine and Benign Paroxysmal Vertigo....

For the first part of my life, I didn't really ever suffer from headaches, let alone migraines.  At least that's what I thought.     Not all migraines are headaches..but I didn't know that until much much later.

I was between 18-21 when I began getting my first episodes of vertigo.  I wasn't eased into it lightly-it was slamming full force vertigo.    Think of drinking too much until the room spins....without the alcohol.   In the beginning I would wake to the room violently spinning and being bed ridden all day.  In the beginning the docs diagnosed me as "low blood sugar" or "ear infection".  I would be given some meclizine and sent home.   

A few years later, 1994 to be exact--August, I got to experience it coming on in my waking time.   That is not fun. Feeling it coming on and being able to do absolutely nothing to stop it.   When these struck I was bedridden. Movement of my head would make me throw up. Movement of any type made it awful.

Sometime after that they seemed to disappear.  I didn't have any episodes for years.   Prior to that it seemed I would get two episodes a few months a part and then be ok for about a year.  

In August of 1999, something changed.  My husband and I were out and about and I just felt off. I could best explain it as feeling like I'm walking in the clouds. I guess I could compare it to being "buzzed".  I felt light headed and just not right.   This lasted several days and I stayed home from work.   My hub worked in an ENT clinic at the time and got me in before they opened. I explained it to the doc and eventually she gave me more meclizine and told me to get some rest. (like I wasn't already doing that) . Day 5 it turned into the heavy spins of old and by Day 6, I was in recovery mode.  The severe spins ALWAYS lasted a day.  The whole next day was recovering from the awfulness of the day before.  Yet NO ONE could tell me what was going on.

The next few years I would get a mixture of the two types above.  I'd get the cloudy "buzzed" feeling that would last for days  or I would get the onset of the violent spins.   It sucked.  I actually preferred the violent spins because I knew those only lasted a day. The other ones ...there was no time frame. Those were coming with more frequency.

Eventually having enough I began to seek answers.   After test upon test, I ended up at a second neurologist with the Cleveland Clinic who specialized in vertigo disorders.   My own research and the results of all previous tests knocked out Meiniers and MS.   I described the issues to the nurse and when the Doc came in he said to me "Good News. I know what it is!"  

Hearing those words was like the best thing ever.  He explained that I had Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo (BPPV) , what it was, and all that.   I was happy to have a name to it.  I was tired of just saying I have a vertigo problem.   EVERYONE has a vertigo issue at one time or another and when you have issues regularly, I don't like being thrown in with everyone whose had an ear infection.

I was given literature and exercises to do when I had an episode.  I also began learning, things I enjoyed before were now off limits.  Riding a roller coaster or any other activity where you were jostled around was out.   Leaning my head back and looking up for any period of time was out.   Just shaking my own head to music was out.       

However as I read, I began to questions the diagnosis.  Yes this explained the buzzed feeling. Yes this explained the light headedness.  Yes this explained the cloudy thoughts.  But what this did NOT explain was the severe spins I would get every so often.    

Eventually I went several years without a severe issue, but regularly had the BPPV episodes.  Exhaustion and stress brought them on.        

In Dec 2007, a few months after starting my new job I was hit with a severe episode at work.   Hub had to come get me and I was sick.  I was sensitive to smells, light, temperature and definitely, most definitely movement.     

Again, it took only a day for it to go away and a day of recovery.  This was the first time I'd ever had one that early in the day and at work.   I also wanted to know more.   

The internet and information available now in 2007 versus 2002 had improved greatly.  In researching BPPV and other vestibular disorders I literally stumbled upon an article that briefly mentioned MAV. 
Migraine Associated Vertigo.  

From there I looked into MAV.  The jackpot. I hit the jackpot.   THIS is what I've been suffering with since 1992.   This is what those severe episodes were.   AND get this...people with BPPV were predisposed to having MAV.     Holy Crap. I FINALLY had a name and self diagnosis for both parts of my vertigo issues.

Sometime after 2010, I began experiencing headaches. The Dec 2007 and Early 2008 MAV episodes were the last ones I had by this time.  The BPPV episodes had diminished. If I felt them coming on, I'd take a severe headache pill and sleep. That usually helped.     So by 2010 my vertigo episodes had practically disappeared.   However in it's place I began having headaches.   Bad headaches.  I don't know if it's related to the MAV or my Fibro, but I would regularly have headaches.  

Now these severe headaches weren't the debilitating migraines I've heard others describe, but they were strong enough to be distracting and interrupted my normal daily functions.

So during the time frame of 2008-2012, I hadn't really suffered from the BPPV or MAV, but I sure as heck had some massive headaches that I never used to have.   

Of course in Dec of 2012, the 2nd week into my new position MAV hit HARD at work.  Talk about embarrassing.     Again it was awful... all the migraine symptom sensitivity with the motion sickness thrown in (all in front of new co-workers).    

So apparently I'm not done with the MAV.   Sigh.  At least my co-workers now understand that I have a Vertigo disorder and what to do in the future (never an ambulance).

This past Sunday I had a BPPV episode. Ugh. Sleep and meds lightened the sensitivity, but I knew it wasn't over.

This morning I woke up for work and didn't feel right.  I was lying there in the dark and just knew something wasn't right.   Turned on the light and moved slowly.   Showered and just didn't feel right.  
Decided not to risk going into work nor would I be able to work from home.

I think what I'm feeling is a slight hybrid of the BPPV & MAV.  
I have a very severe headache. It's at the back of my skull and neck.  I am sensitive to motion, but not full on motion sickness. I've got cloudy thoughts.  I can't seem to think clearly.     

So in bed I was all day.  Well almost all day. I did get up between noon and 2 and now 6 and ...whatever.  I am trying to tire myself out.  I took more meds. I have my glasses on. I'm hydrated.  But lord does my head hurt.  Movement --no cars for me.   I'm hot and cold and hot and cold.  I have zero tolerance for most everything.   

I feel like it's always one strike after another.  I was sick for nearly 2 months with a cold and then sinus infection.  Now this.  

Sigh.   I did learn today that MAV is also now being called Vestibular Migraine.     

Research for information today is so much more fruitful than it was when I was first diagnosed.  Sigh.
So I have no idea about whether or not I will be able to work at all tomorrow.   This thing I'm having today is new territory.   

So  that is why I haven't worked out this past week.   :)

MAV information
https://vestibular.org/migraine-associated-vertigo-mav

BPPV
https://vestibular.org/understanding-vestibular-disorders/types-vestibular-disorders/benign-paroxysmal-positional-vertigo

I have so many thoughts..

I have so many thoughts going through my head.   I haven't blogged-not because I don't have anything to say-but because I have too much to say.   Most of it I debate whether or not it belongs here.

I may ramble a bit and be all over the place...so just bear with me. 

So, I have been thinking about my overall health recently.  There have been a few deaths of people I knew that really have got me thinking.   Not that I have any real control, but I don't want to be one of those "died too young" people.    I know if it's meant to happen it will, but I want to do all I can to make sure it doesn't.

But I haven't been.....  so many reasons. 

Another reason I've not blogged is what I've wanted to say isn't necessarily about working out or eating right.  It does have something to do with my health, just not sure if or how I would share.  

I've been in the dumps. Feeling blue.  Sad.  I really hate to use the word depressed--but I guess it's a mild case--.  I've suffered from depression for a very long time. I've managed to control it through meds (the same meds that help me fight my fibromyalgia).  

However lately, I've had a lot on my mind and it's just gotten to me.   First there's the pain.   My aching body. It feels like I've had a very tough workout, without the workout.   There's the throbbing pain in random parts of my body.  By legs, calves, top of my feet, my wrists. ETC.  It's random and it just hurts.  

Best Dog EVER!

There's my knee.  When I was still living at home and we had our family dog Max (to this day, I think this was the best behaved dog i've ever had). Max was a Shepherd/Collie mix.  In his final years he was diagnosed with a degenerative disease of the spine.  His back legs became weak and he'd have to sit.  Had trouble jumping and climbing on things.  They gave him a cortisone shot to his back.  For awhile, he was like a new dog.  Could walk longer and had more pep in his step.   In the meantime, the disease progressed.  By the time the effects of the shot wore off, he was worse.
It was heartbreaking and horrible.     Those memories have stuck with me since.

Here we are 21 years later since the day of saying Goodbye to Max and I more than understand.  I've discussed my knee many times throughout this blog.   Essentially the thing to fix my knee is a knee replacement surgery. The docs have said I'm too young to have it--and I agree.  Why go through more surgeries than necessary if we can avoid them.

Back in August I had the injection of SynVisc in my knee.  It worked wonders and have allowed me more pain free mobility than I have had in the past.  It didn't get rid of all pain (there were days), but I was able to move more.     Here we are 6 months later and it's wearing off.   The injection is supposed to last up to 6 months, so I'm pretty lucky I'm on the outside of that time frame.   Still it's hurting more and more.   And in ways it's worse.      I can't explain it, but the pain is different and worse. AND to add insult to injury, my right knee is hurting like hell.   

Lada Ann

I know I can work out even with the pain, as I did before, but I haven't.  

Time. I want to start working out. I really really do..  I am just having trouble fitting it into my schedule.  In the beginning of the 21 day fix program I would work out between 6-7pm.  That was really the only time I could fit it in my day.  

A few things have changed.  First .... meet Lada. She's our 2nd Cattle Dog and so much more clingy than Peryn ever was.  She won't leave my side for long.  Where I once came home and let the dogs out and spent 20 mins with them, I now spend 40 minutes to and hour with them. Calming her down, loving on the dogs.  Being a good puppy Mom.   I adore her, but she alone takes up a lot of my time that was once free.   Don't get me wrong...I adore the heck out of her and am not really complaining...but it does set me back in my schedule.

Additionally, Rich doesn't come home early anymore.   THIS is where I KNOW I need to get organized and pre-prep dinner...but I haven't been.  That puts me behind and when Rich is getting home at 6--I'm eating with him.  
Before you know it --it's too late.    I need to get to bed around 8pm.  It allows me almost 8 hours of sleep and usually by then I'm WHIPPED.  EXHAUSTED.  DONE FOR.   

Sleep....yeah--I need to be re-evaluated. I'm having issues when I sleep (snoring) that should not be happening.   LUCKILY I meet with my sleep doc next week. I think I may need another sleep study or they need to adjust my pressure....   I'm not getting a restful 8 hours.   OH...and that cute little face above and this one.  
I get woken up about twice a night to let their fluffy behinds outside.   OR like last night HE decided to keep walking all over me throughout the night.  He's HEAVY!!       So this contributes to my lack of full sleep.


Excuses...maybe.   I really want to get back on track.  I just need time to do that.     God Bless you working full time Moms.   God Bless you.


So backing up to my "Blues".   It just seems like things are getting to me.   I worry about my folks, my Dad's health, my Mom's health & well being, my health, my husband's health, my job, friends going though some things, politics of the city I live in (the issues that directly effect me) , the country, my husband's job, finances, the house....and the list goes on.   One thing or random though can set me off.  Then I am sad and down and it just sucks.  Who cares about working out at that point...

Another reason I don't blog as much....I started this last night.  Sat down, typed up a few lines and then was done...Exhausted.  Got up and climbed into bed.   The only reason I am able to finish now is mentioned above...2 furry adorable creatures woke me up at 3:30 and since I get up at 4AM--I figured I would get down to blogging.
Now here I am at 4:24am--running behind to shower and get ready to head out at 5...

So  as you see--my mind is always full of things to blog about, but then I debate whether or not this is the place to vent?   Yeah---mental health is part of getting better--but I'm not one to talk about the heavy stuff going on.  
Heck if you follow me on FB--I pretty much only talk about about my pups.   No one knows the real stuff....     ((Shrugs)).

I could sit here and babble about stuff all day, but I REALLY do need to get up and going. I have to leave this house in 30 minutes and I'm not even showered.

SO there you have it.
Haven't worked out. Eating crappy. Sad. In Pain.  and in love with my pups.  

Oh and Happy Birthday to my best friend!

quick..

Still sick.  The crap is just sitting in my chest.    I know I need to see a doc.

Also......
I'm walking to raise money to support those with Epilepsy...
Please consider donating.http://epilepsyinfo.donorpages.com/17WINTERWALK/LaurieBurrell/

Forgot the awesome title I thought up a few hours ago...

Quick update that I have nothing to update.

I haven't worked out in ages.  I can also see it -that I haven't worked out in ages.

I caught a nasty cold just before Christmas. Just as that ran it's course and I started to feel better, life thought I didn't suffer enough and therefore turned it around and into a nasty sinus infection.

That is where I stand today. Suffering from a sinus infection that feels worse than the cold ever did.
I have lived off of hot chocolate and large pops the past week.   The heat in the hot chocolate warms my chests and make it feel better for a time. The large pops help loosen up crap and I actually have productive crap.

In between I struggle to breathe and the coughs have made my chest and stomach muscles ache.

SO yeah- I'm not working out. I'm not dieting because I'm not eating too much as it is.
The only thing that keeps me moving at all is a tiny little strawberry blonde puppy that I'm chasing throughout the house.  

so, thanks for checking in but nothing to report as I am just trying to get through this before I even consider doing anything  (that and every little movement sets me off into a coughing fit where I'm gasping to breathe).

Check back in a week and hopefully I'll be better and doing something.