I have so many thoughts..

I have so many thoughts going through my head.   I haven't blogged-not because I don't have anything to say-but because I have too much to say.   Most of it I debate whether or not it belongs here.

I may ramble a bit and be all over the place...so just bear with me. 

So, I have been thinking about my overall health recently.  There have been a few deaths of people I knew that really have got me thinking.   Not that I have any real control, but I don't want to be one of those "died too young" people.    I know if it's meant to happen it will, but I want to do all I can to make sure it doesn't.

But I haven't been.....  so many reasons. 

Another reason I've not blogged is what I've wanted to say isn't necessarily about working out or eating right.  It does have something to do with my health, just not sure if or how I would share.  

I've been in the dumps. Feeling blue.  Sad.  I really hate to use the word depressed--but I guess it's a mild case--.  I've suffered from depression for a very long time. I've managed to control it through meds (the same meds that help me fight my fibromyalgia).  

However lately, I've had a lot on my mind and it's just gotten to me.   First there's the pain.   My aching body. It feels like I've had a very tough workout, without the workout.   There's the throbbing pain in random parts of my body.  By legs, calves, top of my feet, my wrists. ETC.  It's random and it just hurts.  

Best Dog EVER!

There's my knee.  When I was still living at home and we had our family dog Max (to this day, I think this was the best behaved dog i've ever had). Max was a Shepherd/Collie mix.  In his final years he was diagnosed with a degenerative disease of the spine.  His back legs became weak and he'd have to sit.  Had trouble jumping and climbing on things.  They gave him a cortisone shot to his back.  For awhile, he was like a new dog.  Could walk longer and had more pep in his step.   In the meantime, the disease progressed.  By the time the effects of the shot wore off, he was worse.
It was heartbreaking and horrible.     Those memories have stuck with me since.

Here we are 21 years later since the day of saying Goodbye to Max and I more than understand.  I've discussed my knee many times throughout this blog.   Essentially the thing to fix my knee is a knee replacement surgery. The docs have said I'm too young to have it--and I agree.  Why go through more surgeries than necessary if we can avoid them.

Back in August I had the injection of SynVisc in my knee.  It worked wonders and have allowed me more pain free mobility than I have had in the past.  It didn't get rid of all pain (there were days), but I was able to move more.     Here we are 6 months later and it's wearing off.   The injection is supposed to last up to 6 months, so I'm pretty lucky I'm on the outside of that time frame.   Still it's hurting more and more.   And in ways it's worse.      I can't explain it, but the pain is different and worse. AND to add insult to injury, my right knee is hurting like hell.   

Lada Ann

I know I can work out even with the pain, as I did before, but I haven't.  

Time. I want to start working out. I really really do..  I am just having trouble fitting it into my schedule.  In the beginning of the 21 day fix program I would work out between 6-7pm.  That was really the only time I could fit it in my day.  

A few things have changed.  First .... meet Lada. She's our 2nd Cattle Dog and so much more clingy than Peryn ever was.  She won't leave my side for long.  Where I once came home and let the dogs out and spent 20 mins with them, I now spend 40 minutes to and hour with them. Calming her down, loving on the dogs.  Being a good puppy Mom.   I adore her, but she alone takes up a lot of my time that was once free.   Don't get me wrong...I adore the heck out of her and am not really complaining...but it does set me back in my schedule.

Additionally, Rich doesn't come home early anymore.   THIS is where I KNOW I need to get organized and pre-prep dinner...but I haven't been.  That puts me behind and when Rich is getting home at 6--I'm eating with him.  
Before you know it --it's too late.    I need to get to bed around 8pm.  It allows me almost 8 hours of sleep and usually by then I'm WHIPPED.  EXHAUSTED.  DONE FOR.   

Sleep....yeah--I need to be re-evaluated. I'm having issues when I sleep (snoring) that should not be happening.   LUCKILY I meet with my sleep doc next week. I think I may need another sleep study or they need to adjust my pressure....   I'm not getting a restful 8 hours.   OH...and that cute little face above and this one.  
I get woken up about twice a night to let their fluffy behinds outside.   OR like last night HE decided to keep walking all over me throughout the night.  He's HEAVY!!       So this contributes to my lack of full sleep.


Excuses...maybe.   I really want to get back on track.  I just need time to do that.     God Bless you working full time Moms.   God Bless you.


So backing up to my "Blues".   It just seems like things are getting to me.   I worry about my folks, my Dad's health, my Mom's health & well being, my health, my husband's health, my job, friends going though some things, politics of the city I live in (the issues that directly effect me) , the country, my husband's job, finances, the house....and the list goes on.   One thing or random though can set me off.  Then I am sad and down and it just sucks.  Who cares about working out at that point...

Another reason I don't blog as much....I started this last night.  Sat down, typed up a few lines and then was done...Exhausted.  Got up and climbed into bed.   The only reason I am able to finish now is mentioned above...2 furry adorable creatures woke me up at 3:30 and since I get up at 4AM--I figured I would get down to blogging.
Now here I am at 4:24am--running behind to shower and get ready to head out at 5...

So  as you see--my mind is always full of things to blog about, but then I debate whether or not this is the place to vent?   Yeah---mental health is part of getting better--but I'm not one to talk about the heavy stuff going on.  
Heck if you follow me on FB--I pretty much only talk about about my pups.   No one knows the real stuff....     ((Shrugs)).

I could sit here and babble about stuff all day, but I REALLY do need to get up and going. I have to leave this house in 30 minutes and I'm not even showered.

SO there you have it.
Haven't worked out. Eating crappy. Sad. In Pain.  and in love with my pups.  

Oh and Happy Birthday to my best friend!

quick..

Still sick.  The crap is just sitting in my chest.    I know I need to see a doc.

Also......
I'm walking to raise money to support those with Epilepsy...
Please consider donating.http://epilepsyinfo.donorpages.com/17WINTERWALK/LaurieBurrell/

Forgot the awesome title I thought up a few hours ago...

Quick update that I have nothing to update.

I haven't worked out in ages.  I can also see it -that I haven't worked out in ages.

I caught a nasty cold just before Christmas. Just as that ran it's course and I started to feel better, life thought I didn't suffer enough and therefore turned it around and into a nasty sinus infection.

That is where I stand today. Suffering from a sinus infection that feels worse than the cold ever did.
I have lived off of hot chocolate and large pops the past week.   The heat in the hot chocolate warms my chests and make it feel better for a time. The large pops help loosen up crap and I actually have productive crap.

In between I struggle to breathe and the coughs have made my chest and stomach muscles ache.

SO yeah- I'm not working out. I'm not dieting because I'm not eating too much as it is.
The only thing that keeps me moving at all is a tiny little strawberry blonde puppy that I'm chasing throughout the house.  

so, thanks for checking in but nothing to report as I am just trying to get through this before I even consider doing anything  (that and every little movement sets me off into a coughing fit where I'm gasping to breathe).

Check back in a week and hopefully I'll be better and doing something.

Quick post

This weather SUCKS.   I hate it. hate it!

My Fibro is acting up.  It hurts to just be. I feel it all the way from my toes to my shoulders.    It sucks.
What does that mean?  For now, I have not worked out.  It hurts to move and I just don't have it in me to push on through.

........to be continued.

the I hurt Addendum

So my flu shot arm is really really aching right now. From the spot where I received the shot all the way down my upper arm.

Add on to the fact that I injured myself "playing soccer" with the little blue one.     I miscalculated and ended up bending my foot under and scraping it across the carpet.

I'm just a nice barrel of aches today.   The weather isn't helping....

Realities

one of the problems with being overweight, particularly morbidly overweight, are the associated health issues.

Extremely overweight individuals have so many health risks and problems that when one finally overcomes them, it is a great thing.

For me a number of my issues were:  higher blood pressure, fatty liver disease, no menses, stress on the joints, headaches, heartburn, lack of flexibility- JUST TO NAME A FEW

The one that seems to change the most when I am on the right track is the no menses. Both times now that I have lost weight, this wonderful 'gift' has returned---sort of.  Men--stop reading if you are icked out by female problems.....

SO as I said both of the times now that I've lost significant weight, my monthly friend returns--full blast. Totally awful and makes me remember why I used to rejoice in saying "Oh. I don't have a period anymore".      The thing is, that happens with the first.  I get it heavy and all out awful.
Next month is significantly lighter and shorter.   Then the month after barely a sign of any blood.
After that I get all the awesome PMS symptoms (sarcasm there people) but absolutely no bleeding.
This was the problem I had ORIGINALLY when my monthly fried began to go away.

Soo discussing this with my awesome Doc had me signed up for an Ultrasound.   The wonderful vaginal ultrasound as well as external.    Now....first I must ask...Why do they always say "Now this will be cold" when applying the gel on TV??  This is my second ultrasound and both times it was very warm.    Back on topic....   So this past week I've had all the symptoms, as I've mentioned earlier.   The cramping, the breakouts, the ravenous chocolate cravings and then I have this wonderful THING shoved up there and moved around in my already cramping lady parts and now I'm cramping worse..... UGH

SO now we wait to make sure there is nothing else wrong or is it just the warranty starting to go?

So losing weight can help get rid of some issues, but it may also uncover others......

Check In.

Hey.  

So for Christmas the Hub got me a Fitbit Blaze.   It's pretty awesome.   It not only tracks my steps it tracks my heart rate, exercises (Workout, Walk, Hiking, Yoga, Weights -the ones I've chosen), my sleep and allows me to read my texts when they come in.

I've used it for several of my workouts so far.   I love how it times them so I don't have to keep guessing how long I've been at it.   It is definitely going to help me out in the long run.

Today we took the pups for an early Sunday morning walk in the park.   We're going to try doing this more often, but that is totally dependent on ice and snow..

I think I lost 1 lb   nothing drastic.   However I am having to say goodbye to one pear of yoga pants. They keep sliding off my hips and make it very distracting to do anything other than stopping my pants from falling off.

Rich is doing well on his diet.   We just need to get in a little more workout for him.   I keep trying.

While searching around on my BeachBody on Demand I found a yoga workout for lower back pain.  While I don't have the pain I once did, I still checked it out.   It's a great workout -10 mins- that really helps loosen me up.   I think this is going to be my Monday morning get up and get going thing from now on.

I'm sorry I don't have much else to talk about. Truthfully after our walk this morning I just lounged around doing NOTHING.   It's rare that I can do that so I took the chance while I could.

Have a good week!!