Welcome.
I don't even know if anyone will read or not, but that's not really the point. The point is to get out my thoughts and feelings on trying to get my life back. That all depends on an upcoming decision on whether or not to have gastric bypass surgery.
I started gaining weight shortly after moving overseas to be with my hubby. I didn't realize it at first, but 2 years in the doctor mentioned I had gained 40 lbs. I'm very tall and hold the weight a lot differently than the average person. It wasn't completely noticeable (like it is now). I worked out regularly so it wasn't an earth shattering thing that I had gained weight. I buckled down, watched what I ate, and got into Tae bo (which was the thing at the time). I lost 20 lbs easily.
Thus went my life for the next few years. Up. Down. Up. Down. Finally in 2002, I did the Atkins diet. A few months later I was down 70lbs and not too far away from my skinny weight. At my lowest weight, I'm a size 14. If I go any lower, I look sickly.
I stayed like that for about a year. We began considering having children and someone suggested to me that low carb wasn't good for trying to get pregnant. Instead of researching it, I just went off the diet.
In 2007, I was rear ended TWICE in 4 1/2 weeks time. The lower back pain I began to experience was dreadful. I gained weight as well. I eventually lost some of it and the back pain diminished. It only flared op once and awhile.
Fast forward to 2008 and I'm now 70lbs over weight, minimal back pain. Again, I'm tall and carry it differently. I was a 16/18.
2009 was a very bad year for us. My husband lost his job and things got very very stressful. Eventually he found an even better job. Along with the job came a move-he needed to be closer to work --and we couldn't move too far from my work, so we tried to locate a half way point. We did and made the decision to build.
During this time, he had to leave and travel for work. Leaving me with the job of prepping the existing house for sale, dealing with the build and dealing with paper work galore. In addition, we now (I) have to deal with a dog with severe separation anxiety who was doing some major damage. I was exhausted all the time. Oh, did I mention I was finishing up college at this point? Graduation was Dec of 2009.
Throw in two car accidents from the hub before the end of January and I was a mess. I went to the Dr about my exhaustion and weight gain. He said "stress related" it would all go away when we finally moved.
By the beginning of Feb, add in 2 more car accidents from the hubby-- including one with the work vehicle and my stress level is through the roof.
Feb 2010, is stressful dealing with the final stages of the new house and everything associated with a move.
One week after the move, I come down with a cold. The cold turned into bronchitis and I was very sick for 3 and half weeks.
Just as I get over it, a week and a half later we throw a house warming/graduation party. That night after the party, I was so worn down.
I never recovered from that. A few weeks later I go to the doctors office complaining that I hurt. I hurt ALL over. Tests reveal inflammation and I'm sent to a Rheumatologist. From there it's just down hill and finally late April is my Dr appointment. We begin with medications, medications, medications. We're trying to find the right mix to make me feel better, but nothing is working.
I'm completely exhausted all the time. I have no energy to do anything. I can barely walk. I can barely stand up. I don't sleep through the night. And oh, I HURT. Hurt hurt hurt. I become a shell of who I once was. The thought of getting up to cook dinner just over whelmed me. I did nothing. Hubby did it all.
I suffer from Fibromyalgia.
So, during this time of going back to the Dr office every 6-8 weeks to find out if the meds I am on are working or not, in addition to blood work, I begin to gain weight. Some days I'm about a 8-9 but most I'm about a 6. I'm MISERABLE. COMPLETELY MISERABLE. I can no longer schedule things with my friends because it drains me. A few hours with friends costs me the next two days to recover. Walking the dogs never happens because either my back kills me or the aching gets to me or I have no energy.
I do a lot of research during this time and also begin to see a Therapist because I am severely depressed. I no longer feel like a human. I am not a functioning being. I'm gaining weight and I can't even cook my own dinners for my husband and myself.
During my research, I find that Cymbalta is a drug commonly used on some Fibro patients as treatment to symptoms. I've been on Cymbalta before for depression and anxiety. Maybe, just maybe I can kill 2 birds with one stone?
At my next visit, I discuss this with her. I explain I've been severely depressed. I explain I've done research and want to go back on Cymbalta. She agrees readily since it helps patients like me.
Had I not had a witness to this, I wouldn't have believed it. I took my first dosage that Friday.
The very next day, after observing me on the floor with our dogs, the Hub states, "I got my L back".
In 24 hours, the pill made me feel human again. No exhaustion. Hardly any pain. Ease of movement.
When the pill fully took effect, I still had some symptoms, but for the most part, I went from a 7 to a 2 in the pain department.
Yay! I can begin working out! Wrong. The amount of weight I had put on was so significant that standing or walking for 10 minutes caused the most excruciating pain in the whole world. It was debilitating.
Now, I also begin having symptoms of sleep apnea. I'm falling asleep at the wheel and other issues.
I've gone on long enough so far so I'm going to speed this up. When I'm FINALLY able to begin working out on a recumbent bike that I bought, my knees starts to bother me. It gets worse and worse. I see a Orthopedic who says the knee is pretty much bone on bone.
Physical exercise is more limited. My access to a pool is extremely limited and now I'm EXTREMELY OBESE.
My weight is causing issues with my back, knee and hands. I had carpal tunnel release surgery during this time and my hands/wrists can not support my weight when I'm on the floor for any reason. I have had 2 cycles in the past two years.
I recently lost 10 lbs but it took a long time. I don't eat excessively. I have 3 meals and very minimal snacks. I drink water most of the time and try to force myself to do things, including painfully walk the dogs.
My last doctor visit, she and I had a frank discussion. I'm not at the point where diet alone cannot help me lose the excessive weight and I'm physically limited to what I can do to exercise. She suggested looking into bariatric surgery..............
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