On Vacation......

For the first time in years, I'm on vacation or Staycation as they call it.  Normally when I've taken time off it's to travel to Tenn or take care of some pressing appointments.  Usually my once a year vacation is taken with the hub.   That still will happen, but this is my very own time off.

I've worked my @$$ off the past 5 months at work-earning additional time off outside of my normal leave.  I finally took it.

The great thing is that it coincides with my cast being removed (YAY). 

The really weird thing is I've been busy.  Monday I ran all sorts of errands and even did some landscaping update.  The freaky part of that is I felt wonderful.  I had zero pain. No foot pain, no joint pain, and no Fibro pain. 
I realized it and was shocked.  I cannot for the life of me remember a busy day like that.  

Tuesday was truly a vacation day. Spent the day with my SIL at the pool.  Did NOTHING, but float around in the pool.  Another great day for me.  I was still pain free and clear headed. 
Did get a teeny bit sunburned, but that is the extent of my pain.

Wed hung around the house in the AM while some work was being done.   Had lunch with a bunch of  co-workers then came home to power wash the patio.   Was a bit tired, but still feeling good.

Today-- I'm feeling something. Whether it's the week catching up with me as I'm never this active NOR have I been active in months (RE: Foot).  Is it the sun or heat?   I'm just tired and vaguely achy.   I've been working on chores and vegging out.   I actually am eating relatively well.  I'm actually kind of impressed with myself.

Positive Thoughts....
So at my group the topic was Reducing Stress. Definitely something I should look into. My personality type definitely leads to a lot of stress, so anyway to help reduce any unnecessary stress would be a bonus.

One of my biggest faults is positive thoughts. Particularly any self directed positive thoughts. I fail at this in a HUGE way.   So we're going to start there.  "Daily Affirmations" has been added to my daily routine.   I have a cheat sheet so to speak.  I have Post-Its on my bathroom mirror and every morning I recite my list of positive self thoughts. I've even started doing it at night before I go to bed as well.
It feels weird. I have a tough time believing the thoughts, but I'm trying them regardless of those negative feelings. 

Hubby saw them and knew what they were for--but not for who. "Are these for you or me?" My answer, "Both". Seriously, what harm would both of us having good thoughts about ourselves have?   His other response "You forgot a few" and proceeded to give me more "thoughts".   Later dear..let me get through this first.

Additionally, I'm trying a gratitude journal.   Well, I already have a bullet journal, but added the Gratitude Journal. I'm only starting with 3 a day to get started , but as I get into the habit I'm hoping I can add a few more.

As I prepare to return to work --the actual office--I'm really worried that the "less stressful environment" I became used to will dissolve completely and I'll become stressed out again.   Working on this now, while on vacation will help me get into a rhythm before the work schedule takes over.  

Yeah-- that's what's going on with me.   And wow--look at that 3 posts in past month and a half.....


  

Longer than intended

I meant to only have a few days in between posts, but it went longer than anticipated.
Quick update on my foot. . 

On the 14th I had my cast removed, x-rays taken, and the stitches removed.   Then they put on another cast.   BUMMER. 

What sucks even more was at 1 week, the new cast cracked at the ankle.  I had to go back and have that cast removed and another put on.    So i'm technically on my 3rd cast. 
Barring anything significant happening, I should have this one removed in a few days and move to an air cast/boot.   MOBILITY! SHOWERS!!! POOL!!!!!

And I'll be able to return to my office.  Socialization again!!    Healing thoughts!!!

Alright, the real reason I wanted to do a second post was something that happened. 

I was with a group of individuals in a shared medical appointment.   During one of the sessions, we each spoke to our  doc about how we're doing, feeling and all that.   This was in front of each other.

One person went and turns out they have Fibromyalgia like myself. Essentially what happened is this person shared with the class how they felt/feel and what they went through with after diagnosis and as someone living with it. 

This hit me hard.  Like I broke down because I'm going to tell you something: All these years I thought I was crazy and that I was exaggerating.  I really thought people must think I'm such a liar.   I have all these symptoms. All these feelings.   I feel like crap and up to that point, NO ONE else that says they have fibromyalgia has ever been anywhere close to what I feel.

I was wondering if there was something wrong with ME.  Like do I have a wrong diagnosis?  Is there something else that is wrong and no one is looking because we've settled on Fibro?  

YEARS of pain and suffering both physical and mental and listening to one person's tale hit me so hard.   I am NOT ALONE.

Listening to them was like reading anything I've previously wrote regarding my symptoms.   I am not alone and I'm not making it up.

They understood the initial exhaustion and pain.  They understood the feeling of walking through mud, the resistance to movement you feel on bad days.

They understood the pain, aches, and mental anguish that accompanies having this illness.   

AND  we ended up talking about medication.   For awhile now, I notice when I forgot to take my meds.   I prefer to take my medications with food to avoid stomach upset. Sometimes I don't eat at home and hold off taking the meds until I grab something.
At work, I get so wrapped up the meds sit in my pocket and before you know it--Lunchtime.

Usually around this time --after lunch is when I notice things feel off.  I start feeling physically exhausted.  I feel that tension starting to build.. I ache.  Then I realize that I forgot my meds and immediately take them.   Then I have to wait a bit for them to take effect.  

I was beginning to think this was all in my mind.  I was making this stuff up and really wasn't that 'sick'.

This individual had been on my medication, but got off for the exact reason I just wrote about. They needed something with a little more staying power as they had a family and didn't have the time to be "down" .   

After the meeting it was such a relief to know my experiences and feelings are legitimate.  My symptoms aren't imaginary. My reactions are normal.

Even though my family, friends, and co-workers don't know what I go through. They will not understand and may never--but what I experience is real and not imaginary.

On a final note, my doc--the one who's helped me get through my hardest times. The one who has believed in me and worked with me to get over the bumps.  My cheerleader is moving on.  I'm devastated, but I wish her well.

DOn't know if I'll have the same relationship with my new doc, but only time will tell.