gulp.....yeah I'm still here.

Hey. I'm still here.  I know it seems like I bailed.  Maybe I did ....I don't know.

The past few....weeks? have been a blur.    I know I mentioned my meds.  I'm 'evening' out now. I feel more like myself than I did.  Additionally, I'm off another med as well. 

I don't know if it's been the lower med dosage or the weather, but I've been in pain.  Aches in the joints and then the knees have been really achy.

I also went to Tenn to visit the folks.  I did walk while I was there.  I tried to keep busy and eat "sensibly" I didn't gain any weight while there. Since coming home? I don't know.

I injured myself Monday after returning. All I know is when I got out of the car at home my back hurt like a SOB.  Somehow when I picked up my luggage and got in and out of the car, I pulled a muscle in my back.  
It hurt so bad that when I put my chin to my body, I felt it at my left hip.   Throw in a knee that seems to be swollen today, I'd say I'm knocking it out of the park. I ended up only working a few hours on Tuesday before coming home to sleep. I just did not feel well.

My trip to Tenn was really good. I got to visit someone I hadn't seen in ages and we had a nice meet up.  Got to see a  bit of Chattanooga.  Rich & I would like to go back in Dec to explore some more. Fingers crossed that we can do it.

Tomorrow I'm doing another 5K. My 3rd, the Bernie Shuffle. I'm doing it with my friends & neighbors.  Sarah & Jessica, who I did the Foxtrot with, along with newlyweds, Megan & Chris, and I will all be heading downtown to freeze our buttocks off.

With the knees acting up, I'll be happy if I can get in under 20 min.  Fingers crossed!!!

I'm planning menus and such to help with getting my eating back on track.  I've been working on a few things and bought some other things to help ease me back into 'normal' healthy eating. 

I'm trying to avoid having to go back on the meds, particularly the Cymbalta.  If the aching doesn't go away we'll have to re-evaluate it all. 

I'll be sure to post my results and any pictures I may take tomorrow.  I'll just be a big blob of layers tomorrow :)

Sorry if I kept you waiting and I'm sorry if I let anyone down w/my blasé attitude.  I will get back on track and I will lose what I just gained and I will be focused again!

New Fitbit Mobile feature

This week I discovered a new feature added to the mobile versions of Fitbit-Challenges.

This new little feature takes the ranking feature a bit further.   Right now there are 3 types of Challenges:
*Weekend Warrior
*Daily Showdown
*Workweek Hustle.

You choose the one you want to start and you may invite up to 10 of your friends (If you do not have 10, those invited can invite someone in).  Everyone accepts and once the time period for the challenge begins (example-Weekend Warrior starts at midnight Saturday morning) Fitbit begins tracking your steps during this time period and ranks you.

However, it takes the ranking one fun step further.  There is a "transcript" of the challenge. 
Here is a screen shot of the current challenge I'm in.

 


Weekend Warrior Challenge Transcript



It even included the rankings of those involved in the challenge

I think it's a fun new feature to get people motivated to get moving. I know it did for me. It brings some fun to your days and maybe with the right group, you can think up prizes?

If you haven't gotten a Fitbit yet, here is yet another reason to get one. Join in our fun!!  

Changes

  Hey.   Yep, a Saturday post.
I was sitting here trying to waste time before I had to leave and then realized I could be doing this.

I don't know if I mentioned in an earlier post, but I've had the dosage on one of my meds lowered.  Throw in my transitioning diet, I've had some issues.

I'm gaining some weight, right now nothing to be freaked out about YET.  That's not the issue though. My issue is the effects I'm having because of the meds.  

I'm on Cymbalta and have been on Cymbalta for a few years.  I'm on it for two reasons. First, it helps immensely with the fibromyalgia symptoms.   Secondly, depression. Between the depression from the severe weight gain of old and just my history of it, we felt it was a good thing to go back on Cymbalta.  During that time period, my dosage was raised because I was having dual issues of pain and mood swings.

The higher dosage helped IMMENSLEY.  I know some individuals that have issues being on the medication, but it really has helped me.

One thing my Dr and I discussed awhile ago was coming down the dosage.  We waited and finally made the decision last week.

Now what a lot of you may not know is while the med can be extremely helpful to many, the side effects for withdrawal are quite BRUTAL.

I've withdrawn from the med once before, so I am speaking from experience.  

I wasn't sure if I would have any issues dropping from 90 to 60mgs.   While I have it much easier than those weaning off completely, it isn't without issue.

Just some of the side effects of Cymbalta withdrawal:

• Brain “Zaps” (electric shock-like senstations in the brain)
• Dizziness, light-headedness, vertigo, feeling faint
• Headaches
• Anxiety, irritability, hostility
• Nausea, diarrhea, digestive upset
• Tremor, hands shaking, nerve tingles, strange sensations
• Fatigue, tiredness, lack of energy
• Visual disturbances

 

While I'm not completely withdrawing from the drug, I am still having 'mild' issues.

 

Headaches. I've had them pretty bad for the past week.  I'm taking headache pills once a day.

I have had some brain fog.  I'm not as clear headed as I'd like to be but I'm not horrible.  Would you believe I actually FORGOT about my BMI doctor appointment yesterday?  It's written everywhere, yet it completely slipped my mind.  

 

My stomach is ....who knows. I'm not hungry. I'm starving. I'm nauseous.  I have had some irritability and anxiety. Really mild, but I do not feel as in control of myself as I tend to feel. It's a very weird thing for me.  

 

I have had some fatigue/lack of energy. I'm trying to push myself but it's a struggle the past few days.  

 

Not sure if it's related, but I've had very wild/vivid dreams.  None of the "gory" ones they warn you about, but still weird dreams.

 

Pain.  I've had a mild vague pain all over. Similar to my flair ups while on Cymbalta.   The weather has changed, so that could be related, but with everything in "flux" I don't know what is associated to what.

 

I am struggling with the eating and working out balancing. Maybe doing this all so close together wasn't a great idea, but I'm going to keep on trying.  I'm expecting road blocks and the weight gain, but I have a wonderful support system to keep me on track.

 

I'd also like to take a moment to thank 2 people.  I don't always notify everyone when I post. The last posts were only posted on MFP and not FB, so not everyone read these.

 

Thank you to Ali & Beth.  They both made some comments on my decision to remove myself from PSMF and possible weight gain.  I appreciate your comments and support.    They really came at a good time for me.

 

Really thank you to you all.  There really are so many of you and I appreciate it.  It's been a hard road and it's still hard.  I hope I can keep making you all proud.

 

 

 

 

Thank you ....(I'm sorry if I skipped you......forgive me)

Sarah, Lissette, Karen, Erin, Mom, Dad, Ali, Katey, Beth, Jenny, Margery, Marcy, Rich, and all those whose names are alluding me right now.........

 

 

10/12/14

Brrrrrr. It's a bit chilly here. Fall is definitely upon us.

I have a few items I need to address today, so let's get started.
There is no weigh in today because, I don't want to.
There HAS been a weight gain which I will adjust the total after I finish this.
I'm not feeling guilty about any of it.
I have addressed all this with my doctor and dietitian and they're not disappointed either.
I'm content about it all.

As I mentioned earlier in a post, I've been on vacation. This vacation included celebrating my anniversary with my husband and a few other things.  I didn't think about diets or anything of that kind while it was happening.  I enjoyed myself.  

While I didn't get to walk much during this time, I was active.  Our getaway had an indoor pool and sauna. I made sure they were both used and had a relaxing time doing so.  Seriously, if anyone is near Toledo Ohio, look into staying at the Belamere Suites in Perrysburg. Get a Presidential Suite.

I met with my Dr on Thursday.  I have indeed gained weight, we're not concerned.  We had a long talk about my progress, the diet I was on & MY wishes.  

Friday I met with Gretchen and we had the same talk.    In the end, we all agree: I'm done with PSMF.  It was a great tool to help and it did.  However, long term on it is frustrating.  It IS very restrictive.  Variety is not really much of an option on it. Yes you can mix things up, but you can only mix it up so many times on this diet.  I'm bored. I'm done. I want to be "normal" again.

NORMAL.  What is that in relation to me?  I've put A LOT of thought into this over the past month.  If I had stayed hard and true to PSMF, I could be down another 20 lbs.  Want to know what else? I'd be miserable. 

Losing weight & being miserable? huh?  I like being in control, making choices, & being behind the direction of my life.   PSMF controls me.  Yes I can still make choices but they're very limited. I was happy with that the first 4 months I was on it.  Not so much anymore.

If you long term readers/friends remember, in the beginning...back when my goal was to lose 24 pounds and I did 44 and then eventually 52......remember how that happened?  ME.  My choices. My being the driver.  I watched my calories. I walked those steps. I did it all by making choices of all the options.  

I want that back and my doctor and dietitian agree that it's time to go there again.

So, I'll be back to watching what I eat and how many calories I intake.  I will be back to substituting and deciding "how worth it" IT really is.  

I'm back to being completely in charge of my life and weight loss and choices. 
I do still have some restrictions, but compared to PSMF, these are childs play.

I'm on a 1700 calorie daily limit.   I have 'limits' to how many servings I can have of some things. These limits will increase each week, but grains, dairy, and fruit are now options for me. 
I'm actually pretty excited about it.   Planning menu's to accommodate the changes and all that.

Don't be disappointed that I gained weight.  I'm not.  I'm looking at it as an opportunity to lose it all and not feel like I'm cheating by using PSMF.  I'm still working with my dietitian and doctors, so I have my safety net if I get out of control.

I'll just be that more "awesome" [ ;P ]   when I lose it all.

I'm Still Here.....

Hey. You still out there?

So, I'm still here, but I've been MIA on the blog front.

Rich & I recently celebrated our 18th anniversary this past weekend. In addition, we went away earlier this week.  I made a very conscious decision to forgo the diet.  So, I did gain weight.
I'm not upset about this nor am I worried. I knew this would happen and I had such a wonderful time, I'm not dwelling on it.

I saw my primary doc today and we discussed all this. Tomorrow I see Gretchen and while I've gained since I saw here, I'm not going to cry about it.

So, I'm taking a pause on the dieting subject. I'm going to tell you about my trip.

So, on Saturday for our actual anniversary we went to eat and the movies.
Sunday--don't remember. Monday I worked from home (which I also did on Friday).
Tues, we started off at Hollywood Casino. Rich played roulette, doubled the money he was given.  We had lunch & continued on to the Belamere Suites.

We made reservations for a Royal Suite. This includes an attached garage, personal swimming pool (indoors), sauna, Jacuzzi, fireplace, 2 giant tvs, stereo & dvd player.  Also breakfast delivered each morning. We upgraded with a Spa package and had a couple's massage.

It was fantastic.   2 wonderful relaxing days & nights.   If you're looking for a romantic get away and not too far from Toledo,Ohio-I suggest you go.

We're home now. The dogs have been rescued and a few more days of relaxing.  I go to Gretchen tomorrow so I'll fill you in on the specifics later on........