I'm Still Here.....

Hey. You still out there?

So, I'm still here, but I've been MIA on the blog front.

Rich & I recently celebrated our 18th anniversary this past weekend. In addition, we went away earlier this week.  I made a very conscious decision to forgo the diet.  So, I did gain weight.
I'm not upset about this nor am I worried. I knew this would happen and I had such a wonderful time, I'm not dwelling on it.

I saw my primary doc today and we discussed all this. Tomorrow I see Gretchen and while I've gained since I saw here, I'm not going to cry about it.

So, I'm taking a pause on the dieting subject. I'm going to tell you about my trip.

So, on Saturday for our actual anniversary we went to eat and the movies.
Sunday--don't remember. Monday I worked from home (which I also did on Friday).
Tues, we started off at Hollywood Casino. Rich played roulette, doubled the money he was given.  We had lunch & continued on to the Belamere Suites.

We made reservations for a Royal Suite. This includes an attached garage, personal swimming pool (indoors), sauna, Jacuzzi, fireplace, 2 giant tvs, stereo & dvd player.  Also breakfast delivered each morning. We upgraded with a Spa package and had a couple's massage.

It was fantastic.   2 wonderful relaxing days & nights.   If you're looking for a romantic get away and not too far from Toledo,Ohio-I suggest you go.

We're home now. The dogs have been rescued and a few more days of relaxing.  I go to Gretchen tomorrow so I'll fill you in on the specifics later on........

September 28

Progress.

Easily lost the water weight that I gained and a few more to just be sure.
Whew!
Just very glad that the scale kept the downward trend.

I had ample opportunity to be bad this week, including yesterday in which I attended two of my favorite little people's third birthday.   I stuck to my guns and when it came time for lunch, I just walked next door to my house to have my own, diet approved lunch.  

The grand scheme of things, the official weight loss is at 104lbs.  Meaning I've lost an additional 4 pesky pounds.
The tracking weight loss is at 99 pesky pounds. 

I knew I was losing before stepping on the scale. I've become very in tuned to my body and can see the subtle signs when I'm not doing well. It's really weird & cool.  I notice it mostly in the middle.  Whatever I see, as long as I can reign myself in, it's all good.

I'm really anxious to finally get off PSMF, reefed, and return to how I was eating before-watching calories only.   There are lots of low calorie, low fat items I enjoyed and would love to enjoy again. Namely the Strawberry Cheesecake Greek Non Fat yogurt for breakfast. 

Rich & I have a little vacation coming up and I'm not too worried.  One, Rich will keep me on track and two, I won't allow myself to slide .   I'm getting excited about that. We haven't done something like this in awhile and I'm really looking forward to some time away from the pups. A week + before we go.

Also later in the month, I'm heading back to Tenn.   I'm flying this time so we do not need to worry about me slacking. With my walking track & my parents to make sure I behave, shouldn't be an issue.

Tomorrow is the Biggest Loser Ceremony at work. Too bad we couldn't do last minute weigh ins. IN the span of a week I went from losing only 12 pounds to losing 18.

Thanks for sticking by me and supporting me through the tough times.   I can't promise that I will not have any more slip ups, but I can promise I'll try my hardest to avoid them if I can.

Weight Loss story & some funnies

http://fox8.com/2014/09/22/power-walker-loses-150-pounds/

I'm awed.

BL final

While I won't win or be runner up for this season, i am down.
Lost 12lbs in 8 weeks. Pretty sad.

My BMI is down.

So close yet so far.

Disappointment

Hey.  Obviously I didn't do a Sunday post.  I was, no am, so disappointed in myself. 
One of the reasons I blog is to have someone else be aware of my progress to motivate me not to fail.  I felt bad enough as it was and then my Mom calls after reading and asks "So what happened?".
This made me feel 10x worse.
Not only have I let myself down, I'm letting some of you down; those of you who really care what happens to me.

My 'transgressions' led to a 9 pound weight gain.  I figured at least half was water weight and I was correct as I quickly shed those.  So because of my lack of discipline, I'm up 5 pounds. To make matters worse, I do my final weigh in for the Biggest Loser today.  I'm so pissed at myself. I had so little lack of control this time around that all the weight that I lost was mostly me trying to lose the gains.  

My embarrassment and disappointment make it hard for me to blog right as I feel like that, so I skip it instead of owning up to it right away.

I hate that my life mostly centers around food.  What I can have. What I can't. What I want to eat. What I shouldn't eat.  Will there ever be a time where it's not a huge portion of my life?

It is no joke when people say weight loss is a struggle.  It really is.  

While I hate that my Mom's call to me made me feel super shitty, I'm glad for it.  The day the questions and calls stop bothering to matter to me is the day I'm on a track to no good.  Besides documenting what I'm doing and feeling, I need you to help keep me accountable.  Even if it's the thought of you or in actuality you, you're one more check and balance to keep me from sliding.
Thank you.  Thank you for your silent support. Thank you for your vocal support. Just Thank you.

So disappointed

I can't stop myself.  I know as I eat the things off my diet that I shouldn't. I know it'll make me gain weight, yet I still eat it.

I start off each morning right and have an appropriate breakfast. Once I'm at work and get hungry, it's all over.

WHy? What changed? It's making me depressed and it is no one else's fault, only mine. I know what I'm doing yet I still go ahead and do it.

I'm scared to step on the scale. I need to in order to scare my fat butt in gear but just don't have the courage yet.

My own worst enemy.

I'm falling apart.   Well, not really but I'm not doing well.

Don't know why. Don't know the cause. I just know I'm making bad choices and can't get back on track.

Is it because I've forgotten to handle PMS? Is it because I'm lazy?   Why can't I get focused?

I have no excuse or reason.  I just have not been eating well and that's all I have to say.



Another note: I am doing another 5 K

http://www.bernieshuffle.com/