uhm. yeah. A little too much of a yummy thing...or two...or three

Insert a picture of a blushing and highly embarrassed Laurie here.

Guess what? I'm only human.

First, we'll start with the ZERO weight loss total. That is correct, I did not lose a lb between weigh ins and have not lost a pound.  Great news is I didn't gain anything either.

Second and most importantly......lack of self control.

I can make up all the excuses I want: It was super hot. I was super hungry. Blah blah blah. In the end the devil on my shoulder was doing a complex jig.

Day 1 of my reefed was a huge failure in terms of healthy eating.   It started off so well too.  Woke up and walked the dogs nearly 2 miles in the sun and heat.  Came home and did a short work out on the bike.

Breakfast was absolutely wonderful.  I had pineapple, a yogurt, & lean ham.  Filling and delicious.
Lunch was great, a lean burger w/a side of mustard.    Things were looking good.

We left for a wedding at 2PM.  It ended up being an outdoor wedding on one of the hottest sunny & slightly humid days this year.

Add in, the reception was held in an outdoor tent which initially was not "open" to allow a breeze or air to flow. 

Add in, we had to wait for the bridal party to finish taking photos.  They had fruit and cookies for our consumption.   I INITIALLY tried to resist. I really did. I had met my fruit requirement for the day.
However as I mentioned it was hot, I was hungry, and I was weak. 

I went up and filled up on fruit and one cookie.  I figured, if I was going to be weak I'd do it on fruit. 
However that 1 cookie. That one delicious and amazing cookie ruined it all.  This cookie ...ungh! Delicious.

So it led the way to 4 more.   After awhile, it came time for dinner.   Then came the rolls.  Yay! I can have 1 (I'm sure it was only suppose to be half of one, but .....forget it...no excuses.. I wanted it dammit!!).  I had a roll with butter.  O.M.G. It was sooooooooo amazingly wonderful.  So ...wonderful.

We finally head to the buffet and I get a Caesar salad, roast beef, chicken and.....pasta.  I should not have had the pasta as I had my starch/grain with the roll.  I should not have, but I did.   Probably 2 servings worth.  (2 servings as in my servings, not regular servings).  It was very good. 

Then this is where it really goes wrong....I went for a few more cookies.  Sigh.  I hang my head in shame.  I had more than the 4 cookies I mentioned earlier. I had this before they brought around the cupcakes.  I only had one and it was way too sweet for me.   It was good, but too sweet.

All the while that I'm having this, I only had a handful of glasses of water.  Some diet pop.  But not nearly enough liquids.

On the way home, I was desperately thirsty.  The drinks we had in the car were way too warm so on the turnpike home, we stopped at.........(nearly whispers) McDonalds.    I got a diet from there to get caffeine in me to stay awake on the drive home.

mumble mumble mumble......... Ok! I had a cheeseburger, or two....but I did only have a handful of fries. I truly mean handful.  I made sure I didn't take more.      So yeah......I TRULY TOTALLY FAILED on day one.

You'll be happy to know my body was not happy with all that. I paid for it this morning as I spent a lot of time in a particular room of my home first thing this morning.

I'm tired and cranky.   I'm so paying for that.  I'm trying to drink as much water as I can.
I did 65 mins. on my bike this morning.  

I'd love to say I"m going to behave today and that WAS the plan. However I'm having my girlfriend (and big supporter) over with her kids for lunch.  Let's just leave it at that. Thank god she won't read this till later to see how much I misbehaved today in conjunction with yesterday.

SO see. I have no self control.   Well I do, I just let go a little too much yesterday.  I'll do better tomorrow.......I promise......

Refeed

So the appointment finally arrived.   Gretchen was extremely pleased with my progress.  She gave me the option to start the reefed or to do one more month on the diet.  While I would love to stay on and continue to lose a lot more weight.
 
That being said, I know I have to get off the diet eventually and this is what I wanted, to eat more. Well, I am officially off the hardcore PSMF and have entered the next phase.  I'm very very nervous.  I know I wanted to eat more variety, however now I am scared. 
 
While on PSMF my daily intake fluctuated between 300-1200 calories.  Obviously it depended on what I ate that day to fall into that range.  I was only eating 14 oz. of lean protein and 2 servings of non-starchy vegetables a day.  Lettuce & celery were unlimited.  
 
Every refeed plan is different. So if you decided to do this diet, your refeed would be different.
As of today I am now allowed:
 

Meat	14 oz
Vegetable	Unlimited
(minus starchy veggies)
Starch/Grain	1 Serving
(starchy veggies)
Fruit	1 Serving
Milk	1 Serving
Fat	as needed
(oil/butter)
Calories	1800

This is only for the first week. It changes slightly for the second and third week. I stop my supplements (related to the diet) during the second week.  I was also warned that during the beginning of the refeed that I will gain about 5 lbs. in water weight. It's unavoidable and it's 'harmless' she says.

Ugh. The thought of gaining any weight is harmful to my state of mind. 

Of course an important item in all of this is that I maintain my working out. That is my walking, my bike, any swimming, and anything that I choose to do for exercise.   So, I need to get back to walking like I did at the end of last summer/beginning of fall.  I've walked but nothing like I was.  I'm not a fan of this heat and in the past it would trigger the fibro.  I've lucked out so far and I hope to continue this streak.

I went shopping today after the appointment and picked up a few items.  Items that I bought: Dannon's Light & Fit 80 calorie/12g Protein yogurt, pineapple,  & grapes. I also bought extra sandwich thins for sandwiches. I get to have a sandwich!!!  I'm not sure where PB falls in this because I have to read the label.  I may not be allowed to have it.

This part is going to be harder as I begin to carefully monitor my portions of certain items.  I've become very proficient at weighing and measuring my food.  I just need to keep track of it. I don't know if my current notebook will work.  We shall see.

So there you have it.  My new feeding plan.  Wish me luck.





 

PreAppointment Bitching

Ok. I'm beyond frustrated.

Last week I was 1.8 lbs away from the 20 lb. goal and crossing the threshold to a new weight class.

What has happened since then????? The scale went up 2.4, then down 2 then up 1, then down .5.......etc.

OMG. It's killing me.

I didn't get on the scale first thing this morning and a bit later when I did, I wish I hadn't. 
According to it, I'm 4.2 away.

WHAT!!!!!!!??????????????? I want to cry. Why isn't it moving. Last plateau I had, it moved already.    

And I'm not eating a lot!!

OH THE HUMANITY............................................................

Food

Itis now to the point that I am dreaming about food. How sad am I? I dreamt about burgers and fries. So in the spirit of that, I'm just going to pathetically list foods I would love to be able to eat.
French Fries
pizza-cheese
Reese Pb Oreos
Peanut butter
Lemon anything pastries
Chocolate Cupcakes
Chocolate peanut butter shakes
Carrot cake
mashed potatoes
Edamame
Zone perfect Simply perfect bars
Good Greens
Bread on a Sandwich
Pretzel &Salted Carmel ice cream
pretzel's & Chocolate anything
Cheesecake
I'm sure there is more, but this is all off the top of my head.
IS there any food you can not live Without?

Sunday 6/22/14

Hey. It's a late posting. I slept in today and then headed out so I didn't have time to post today.

I did the 5K on Friday evening.  While the organization was a big Cluster...eff, I did do the course.  It was a bit of effort since it had rained that day and it was very muddy. It was some effort to not fall, but I did it. 

I'm probably doing another that benefits the Wounded Warrior Project, something I whole heartedly support.   I need to double check the dates for that to make sure I can make it.

This week's loss wasn't too significant as previous weeks, but I still lost.   I'm very close to my next milestone- a new weight class.   I'm really excited about that.   I'm going back to my 2009 weight.   Took four and a half years to gain all that weight and 9 months to lose it.

I'm REALLY looking forward to my Friday appointment to find out what I can eat again. 

As you can see by my tracker at the top, 82 lbs.  That brings our grand total to 86.  Talking with my sister in law today she told me my nephew weighed 85lbs.   I have lost a whole nephew!

Not much else to really discuss at this moment. I'm doing a wedding next weekend and deciding what to wear.  My options include a dress I have yet to wear or 2 that I have worn previously.   My thinking with the one is this may be the last time I get to wear it as I'm sure it's big on me since I last wore it to a wedding in April (since I'm down 48lbs since then).

I'll let you know.

I'm probably not posting until Friday night about the appointment....check back then.

June 18, 2014 Musings (of the future).......Pt 2

As the weight comes off, my anxiousness arises.    At my appointment at the end of next week, I'll be moving towards normal eating.  No more Protein Sparing Modified Fast. 

I've tried to do research on what the re-feeding process entails and have come up with zilch.  You do a search for PSMF and you will find tons of mentions. What I found was written by those who are body builders or low carb dieters. Most of them doing it on their own and for the short term.
No one that I found was on the diet under a physicians care.

It was frustrating because I was reading about their re-feeding and it's really so unrealistic.  I think my blog may be helpful to those out there who want to try this and need to find real information.  Not something who is using it for quick unmonitored weight loss .

I just wanted to get an idea of what in entails. What type of food do I get to add to my diet? How long is each step?  Etc. Etc.  Nothing found.   SO now I just have to wait, albeit impatiently.

I am so afraid I'm going to mess up and lose focus.   I do not want to stop losing weight and I do not want to start overeating. 

I know I have the 'tools' I need to be successful (weighing portions, reading labels, portion control, food logging, exercise), but I am so afraid to fail at this.

I guess I'll just have to be patient & positive.......

June 18, 2014 Musings (of the past)......part 1

Boy do I have a bunch I want to talk about.
First, let's go back in the past.   This is a bit important. I'll start with the notebook I began when I first was getting ready for my bariatric consult. I wanted to make sure I documented all my issues & wishes.

Physical Ailments/Health Issues:

1. Lower back pain-Severe when standing or walking for more than 5 minutes.
2. Left knee hurts when walking. Clicks & throbs.
3. Difficulty getting up from sitting, laying, kneeling
4. Hands don't support weight when I try to get up (carpal tunnel release surgery)
5. Sweating and out of breath with physical exertion
6. Heart burn/Gerd
7. Sleep Apnea
8. Do not sleep through the night.
9. Blood Pressure risen.
10. Soft tissue--aches
11. Energy not consistent
12. No period.

Now:   1,3,4,5,6,8,9,10,11,& 12 are eliminated. 2-occasionally.  7 is the only one really left.

 ***
Wish List:

1. Walk the dogs
2. Go to concert w/out pain
3. hike with hubby
4. maintain energy
5. sleep through the night
6. exercise more
7. go out with friends and not spend the whole next day recovering
8. Wear wedding band again
9. tie shoes
10. cross my legs
11. not pay extra for plus size clothing
12. stretch more

Goals set on my blog:

8/25/13
Goals I'm setting myself this week:

1-Getting more steps in.  Trying to average at least 7-8K 

2-Working at least 15-20 mins on my exercise bike for at least 3 days.

3-Another 3 lbs.

 

9/23/13
This next months goals:  Lose another 20lbs.  Increase my bike time to 45 mins 4x/week. Finally, I want to do a minimum of 10K steps a day.  It's hard on the days I work from home, but I want to work on it


1/1/14
my 2014 Promise to myself is the following-

-- I'll wholeheartedly recommit to my healthier eating

-- I'm going to find ways to exercise even with a bad knee

-- I will lose 10 more lbs. by Jan 31.

-- No matter what, I will try to remain more positive

-- l will walk at LEAST one 5K

-- l will be supportive to my other lifestyle change friends

--I will lose the rest of the weight in 2014!!!

 

How far I've come........

From the Wishes & Goals list:

I now walk the dogs, hike with hubby, sleep through the night, maintain energy, exercise more, tie shoes, cross my legs, & stretch daily.

My bike exercises are now a minimum of 45 mins. each time.

I will walk my first 5k on Friday.

I'm working on losing the last of the weight this year.

 

Let's talk numbers:

Weight loss graph 2013

Weight loss-the visuals

 This graph shows the weight loss I had from the very start to the very beginning of this year.

You can see the weight loss and then the plateau and then me starting to slowly creep back upwards.

Below is from the start of this year through today. You can see where it starts to climb and then my drop from the P.S.M.F.

Progress!               

 



I like seeing that nose dive there.  I just need to keep on going!



Graph 2014
 

And lastly....the numbers.  I checked out my BMI at the start of this diet and what it is today.  It has dropped 12 points.