Just 3

First off, I am posting from my phone. I apologize now for any and all horrible auto corrections.

Secondly, this post is a lot more uplifting than I thought it would be.

Starting with the obvious; after two weeks of inactivity and horrible diet, i  begrudgingly stepped on the scale this morning.  I dreaded this moment.  Surprisingly no only gained 3 lbs.  I am quite pleased  it was only that.

As of yesterday I am back to trying.  Fingers crossed as I get back on track.

Yesterday I had a good experience. Besides those who have been with me since the beginning, I don't advertise to the masses about why I'm doing. So imagine my surprise yesterday when a friend here at work, who I have not seen in ages says "have you lost weight?" And "at first I thought it was you but then I wasn't sure". Made my day. Not one person(friend or family) who didn't know had said anything. Not one. So this was the first and it made my day.

Also on a good note, besides being down three sizes, my bmi is down too. I really like seeing progress in spite of the hang up.

Knee report: joint OK. MRI next week to look for tears and such.  I've walked a few times but carefully. Not wanting to over do it.

I'm setting myself a goal for January. Lose 10 more. 

There will not be a Sunday weigh in until next week/year. You can check back for a random post, but no weigh in.

Up and Down. The Journey through Pictures.

Hey. No new news. I'm petrified to get on the scale.  

I did get out to walk Duchess today. That's progress. I didn't walk far and I took it slow. Hopefully the knee won't give me too much trouble.

So instead of writing all this stuff no one cares about, I've decided to give you my weight issues in pictures.   SO let's get it started.

My first natural weight loss was a six month period in early 1991. I lost 35 lbs without even trying.
Here 


This dress was bought a month before I wore it & by the time I had to wear it to prom, we had to pin it to my bra so it wouldn't fall off.
BTW, it's not 1999--this is 1991.

I was a skinny 155 lbs. Size 14.  Even skinny, I wear what is considered plus sizes.

We've made it to 2004, let's keep going and see the weight climb.














Here's another one during this time period.

Check those skinny legs out :)


The next photo in my weight saga is from right after I was married. In this photo, I'm 185 lbs I believe and still a size 14 maybe a 16 on some items.

Still pretty good.

To the right is another 3 years later and I'm a size 16 and weight 220 lbs. Still not too bad in my opinion.

That photo was taken right after we returned from over seas.  

I was active and worked out regularly yet still gained.  However I was healthy so it wasn't all bad.















We're now forwarding to  2003: Atkins & 70 lbs lost. 



















We've made it to 2004, let's keep going and see the weight climb.

 On to 2005.  Gained some weight but still looking pretty good.   

2006, you can see my face is starting to round out, gained some more.  
  
I would love to be THIS over weight right now.  I have a ways to go and I WILL get there!!

Once Christmas is behind me I'm done! Done with the Christmas treats.

Now here's where we start climbing on up. I blame the switch in jobs and the group I was with. We loved to eat and hat pot lucks practically every week.     2007 and I'd say I'm at 285 now.I'm not happy about this fact and I know I need to do something at this point. Whether or not I can, I don't know.

In 2008 something happened that helped me get on track. NKOTB reunited. Not only did they reunite, they were doing meet & Greets. I had three scheduled and wanted to look good.  I lost about 15 lbs.  You can see it in my face the weight has started coming off again.

I would love to be THIS over weight right now.  I have a ways to go and I WILL get there!!

Work Christmas party 2008

Once Christmas is behind me I'm done! Done with the Christmas treats.

Now, this is where it starts to go to Shit.   2009 was an AWFUL year.  Rich lost his job and things were getting tough in school and life just sucked.  I was so busy and stressed at the end of this year. 

This is me on my July trip to Texas with my friends.  

xNow, we enter the zone where pictures are rare. This is when I was ill and not feeling well.  Pictures are few and far between because I didn't go anywhere. I sat at home in pain. I hurt and I was miserable and I gained and gained.   This picture is from DEC of 2010.     I'm not visibly "round". I have a big middle and my face is round.  I tried to wear things that covered my middle.   I didn't want my picture taken at all but with my family, you can't avoid. it.

The next pictures are from 2011. I am more "active" with friends so there are photos from this year but at this point in time, you can see just how big I've gotten from the earlier pictures. There is no "hiding' my weight gain.

By June, I'm finally on meds that work and more active but it's still too late for me weight wise.

Jan 2011

Nov 2011

AND NOW.... 2012.

 So here we now are ready for the worst of the worst.  The absolute horrible high weight.  

This is where it's at it's worst.  I'm now RIDICULOUSLY Obese. I'm in so much pain and I'm MISERABLE

Welcome to 2013.   

This photo was taken in February at Rich's birthday celebration. LOOK at that. I'm ROUND. It is obvious all over.   It's sad. I'm miserable. I hurt to stand. I hurt to walk. I hurt.

August 2013

August 2013

There is absolutely NO hiding the weight. 

The above picture was taken 1 week before the journey really began.

Taken one of the last times I wore that outfit.  I'm down 30 I "think".   I can no longer wear that blouse.

 Looking better. 

Down 30

Down 40

Now we're at 50 lbs and stuck. Through no fault but my own.  Want to know where on the previous photos I am ?

Go back to Jan 2011, that is where I am at now.   

Dec 2013

Dec 2013

Down 50 LBS

My weight journey in pictures part 1.    Part 2 hopefully in a few months.

Definitely not a good day. I need help.

So day # whatever of my bum knee.  It was stiff and awkward and NOW I feel the arthritis /joint pain.  The usual bone on bone pain I feel.   Additionally my calf still hurts like I had a charlie horse.  Throw in the fact that I worked from home, Yeah...I sat on my butt.

I weighed myself.    4 lbs.  I GAINED 4 lbs.   I'm.......so pissed off at myself.   It's my own fault. I can't stop snacking.   I KNOW I should.  I KNOW what this leads to but I just can't stop.

Then insult to injury....

I got a Christmas card from my Aunt & Uncle.  They decided to be nice and include some pictures of Rich & I from this summer.   I am so sick..   My God.  Knowing you're fat.  Knowing you're over weight is one thing.  But to see it so blatantly obvious in pictures. I'm just sick.

Someone needed to smack me on the head and say LAURIE YOU'RE OBESE!   I ....these pictures just shook me. I'm soo freaking depressed right now.

I need to get back on track.   How can I be some people's inspiration if I'm just heading back to what I was. 

Do you know that this knee thing really upsets me. I've gotten so use to walking and moving and the fact that I'm to be taking it easy is killing me. The fact that I'm eating horribly is making me fall in that downward spiral.

How the hell did I get here?  I told myself once I would never be one of those older overweight people.

GUESS WHAT?  

I will eventually share these pictures with you.  I just can't do it right now.  I can't pull them out to look at them again.   I just want to cry.

So TODAY sucks.
  

Article from CNN

http://fox8.com/2013/12/16/woman-loses-110-pounds-to-join-the-army/

Dec 15, 2013

Happy Sunday.
I'm not updating my weight.   The last two-three weeks there has not been any movement. Well, other than an addition of 2 lbs, there hasn't been any.   I'm going to say that is a success. Even though I have been horribly off the way I had been eating, the fact that I hadn't gained more is a huge success.
I'm really really trying to refocus here. I am.   I can give all sorts of excuses but it's really just me.   I'm, I don't know, not into it right now.   Am I feeling blue? Am I overly hungry? Am I overly emotional? Yes, no,maybe?  All I know is focusing as been very difficult.  
To add insult to injury, literally, my left knee is REALLY messed up.  It's not the arthritis pain that I've had. It has NOTHING to do with the usual knee issues I've had.  This is a whole other ball game.  The whole outer part of my knee is messed up. Straightening or bending it is scream out loud painful.  I am walking with a cane because some weight or stress at the wrong angle is horrible.   I'm on a mixture of prednisone and cortisone and have a scheduled appointment with my Orthopedic doctor. (Sad that I have one).
So I'm looking into other ways to "exercise" since we know that walking is out.   I have a few ideas so we shall see.   I'm going to focus extra hard on the eating now that my exercise is out.
Poor Duchess. She's going to go nuts and drive me nuts when I do not walk her.
I'll keep you informed on the knee. Here's to hoping it's not serious. I do not need that.
See you next time.

Houston we have a problem....

First I gained 2 lbs.  Not happy. My own fault.


Secondly: Something is seriously wrong with my knee. It keeps popping and shifting when i go to move. It hurts.    I'm going to the Express Clinic tomorrow morning.

Edit: went to the clinic & yes my knee is swollen. Yes it is not the usual area of psin. Yes it's gotten worse as the morning drags on.

I was given a corticosteroid to hopefully help with the pain and inflamation. Now I am stuck on the couch with nothing to do. Someone keep me company............

It's been awhile

ORIGINALLY POSTED 12/10 on the wrong blog. DOH!
Sorry.  Between Thanksgiving and my trip to Tenn, I've not had time to concentrate on the blog.   Unfortunately I haven't had time to focus on weight loss either.

First off:  Several people have mentioned or asked about leaving a comment here on the blog.  In order to do that you need an account with one of the providers in the drop down box.   My recommendation is if you have a GMAIL account, use that to access Blogger and create an account to be able to leave comments.   
If you do not have a GMAIL account, get one.   It's free.

Ok.

So let's get caught up.   
While on my little vacation to Tenn, I didn't really focus on eating properly. The weather was also wet and we were only able to walk one day.
I didn't pig out but I didn't eat right.   The good news is as of this morning, there was no weight gain. There was also no weight loss.  I figure that's progress.

Clothing wise:

I wore a pair of pants last week that had an extra button added because it use to be tight.  I'm using the original button.   There is about an inch and a half between the two, so that is progress.

Another sign of progress: my parents scale had a weight "limit" and last time I was there, it wouldn't work on me.  This time it did.

Size wise.  Depending on how you look at it determines how many sizes I am down.
Women's plus size clothing comes in one of two ways for sizes.

The first is dual sizes.   10/12  14/16  18/20  etc.   The second is the straight size: 10 12 14 16.

Going by the first sizes: I am down 2 1/2 sizes       Going by the straight sizes, I am down 3.  Yay.
I just received my most recent clothing purchase and the 2 pair of pants that I bought fit just right.    

Today I had planned to walk the Duchess twice but my knee is all messed up.  So is my ankle & shin.  Don't know if it is weather related or something else.


Now that my vacation is coming to an end, I'm hoping to get back in focus.

Thanks!

just for fun

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/celebrity/news/fat-girl

busy busy busy

I didn't weigh myself this morning. I'm quite afraid to in all honesty.   While Thanksgiving isn't normally a meal I enjoy eating, this year I made a kick ass stuffing and had several refills. Plus there is leftovers.....

I'm back on track though and truthfully, it was hard. While I got to spend the holidays with my nieces and nephews (and later this week I can say I've seen them all), it was quite sad.   I miss my family.  I enjoy seeing members of Rich's family but it is never the same as your own.  Plus I have all this stuff going on in my head....I almost was on the verge of saying SCREW IT!

Watching what you eat is hard people.   Hard! It is such a slippery slope.   

As I said as of this morning, I'm with renewed "vigor" I guess you could say.  

I've been busy this morning.  I had the Christmas decorations and presents all wrapped up before Thanksgiving. This is normally the weekend I would do it, but I had time earlier this week. All that's left is the lights on the outside and on the inside of the windows. I'm taking a break before I do that to write this.

Next week is quite BUSY for me and I will have NO time next weekend to do any of this.

The big thing this year is that there are actually presents.  Last year was very very bad for us financially.  We told the family no gifts. We couldn't afford to do any.  It's still tight but we have a bit more room to get small gifts this year.   A small budget is still better than no budget.  

I love giving gifts. If I could, I'd do it all the time not expecting anything in return.   

Another difficult thing this week has been Galen. He's running into more difficulty than in the past. We've had to assist him getting up more times this week than we had in the past.  Mentally that dog is present. He's still demanding of his snacks. He's still a piggy with food. He still is happy to get attention. His body however isn't cooperating and it saddens me. Galen was my first fur-baby.   He may get on my nerves with his stubbornness and old man attitude but he's still my #1 boy.  Losing Goldberg was hard and I still miss that dog more than you can imagine.   Duchess has helped but it still won't stop the pain I feel having to even consider THAT option.

So as you see, it's been very emotional for me.   Emotions + me + food= a disaster waiting to happen.  Keep me in your thoughts praying for encouragement for me.

I'm very very achy this morning.  Then again, I've been moving furniture and bending here and there.  PLUS I forgot (again) to take my pills.   I need to keep a stash up here.   ON top of that, Rich has the flu. He had a temperature last night as well as some stomach distress.  Rich ill is ..I can only imagine comparing it to a child.   So while he camps out in the basement I'm left to do all this other stuff.

I really do not want to go to work tomorrow.   Praying that the flu stays away from me. I said I had a very busy week coming up.  A lot to do.   Plus it's going to emotionally draining for me on Thursday as my kiddies go to the babysitter.

I do hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving.   Some of you should check your Facebook events as there is something waiting for you. 

Have a great first day of December.

XO