Sunday, September 28, 2014

September 28

Progress.

Easily lost the water weight that I gained and a few more to just be sure.
Whew!
Just very glad that the scale kept the downward trend.

I had ample opportunity to be bad this week, including yesterday in which I attended two of my favorite little people's third birthday.   I stuck to my guns and when it came time for lunch, I just walked next door to my house to have my own, diet approved lunch.  

The grand scheme of things, the official weight loss is at 104lbs.  Meaning I've lost an additional 4 pesky pounds.
The tracking weight loss is at 99 pesky pounds. 

I knew I was losing before stepping on the scale. I've become very in tuned to my body and can see the subtle signs when I'm not doing well. It's really weird & cool.  I notice it mostly in the middle.  Whatever I see, as long as I can reign myself in, it's all good.

I'm really anxious to finally get off PSMF, reefed, and return to how I was eating before-watching calories only.   There are lots of low calorie, low fat items I enjoyed and would love to enjoy again. Namely the Strawberry Cheesecake Greek Non Fat yogurt for breakfast. 

Rich & I have a little vacation coming up and I'm not too worried.  One, Rich will keep me on track and two, I won't allow myself to slide .   I'm getting excited about that. We haven't done something like this in awhile and I'm really looking forward to some time away from the pups. A week + before we go.

Also later in the month, I'm heading back to Tenn.   I'm flying this time so we do not need to worry about me slacking. With my walking track & my parents to make sure I behave, shouldn't be an issue.

Tomorrow is the Biggest Loser Ceremony at work. Too bad we couldn't do last minute weigh ins. IN the span of a week I went from losing only 12 pounds to losing 18.

Thanks for sticking by me and supporting me through the tough times.   I can't promise that I will not have any more slip ups, but I can promise I'll try my hardest to avoid them if I can.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

BL final

While I won't win or be runner up for this season, i am down.
Lost 12lbs in 8 weeks. Pretty sad.
My BMI is down.
So close yet so far.

Disappointment

Hey.  Obviously I didn't do a Sunday post.  I was, no am, so disappointed in myself. 
One of the reasons I blog is to have someone else be aware of my progress to motivate me not to fail.  I felt bad enough as it was and then my Mom calls after reading and asks "So what happened?".
This made me feel 10x worse.
Not only have I let myself down, I'm letting some of you down; those of you who really care what happens to me.

My 'transgressions' led to a 9 pound weight gain.  I figured at least half was water weight and I was correct as I quickly shed those.  So because of my lack of discipline, I'm up 5 pounds. To make matters worse, I do my final weigh in for the Biggest Loser today.  I'm so pissed at myself. I had so little lack of control this time around that all the weight that I lost was mostly me trying to lose the gains.  

My embarrassment and disappointment make it hard for me to blog right as I feel like that, so I skip it instead of owning up to it right away.

I hate that my life mostly centers around food.  What I can have. What I can't. What I want to eat. What I shouldn't eat.  Will there ever be a time where it's not a huge portion of my life?

It is no joke when people say weight loss is a struggle.  It really is.  

While I hate that my Mom's call to me made me feel super shitty, I'm glad for it.  The day the questions and calls stop bothering to matter to me is the day I'm on a track to no good.  Besides documenting what I'm doing and feeling, I need you to help keep me accountable.  Even if it's the thought of you or in actuality you, you're one more check and balance to keep me from sliding.
Thank you.  Thank you for your silent support. Thank you for your vocal support. Just Thank you.

Friday, September 19, 2014

So disappointed

I can't stop myself.  I know as I eat the things off my diet that I shouldn't. I know it'll make me gain weight, yet I still eat it.

I start off each morning right and have an appropriate breakfast. Once I'm at work and get hungry, it's all over.

WHy? What changed? It's making me depressed and it is no one else's fault, only mine. I know what I'm doing yet I still go ahead and do it.

I'm scared to step on the scale. I need to in order to scare my fat butt in gear but just don't have the courage yet.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

My own worst enemy.

I'm falling apart.   Well, not really but I'm not doing well.

Don't know why. Don't know the cause. I just know I'm making bad choices and can't get back on track.

Is it because I've forgotten to handle PMS? Is it because I'm lazy?   Why can't I get focused?

I have no excuse or reason.  I just have not been eating well and that's all I have to say.



Another note: I am doing another 5 K

http://www.bernieshuffle.com/

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

**100**

FEB 2013
Well, it's official.   I weighed in at the dietitian's today and confirmed my own weigh in this morning.  I am down 100 lbs.

This is my celebration post.   I had my celebration snack this morning and we high fived at the office today, so now is the celebration post.

I find it just so unbelievable that I just lost 100 lbs.   Well, I didn't 'just' since it took 13 months to do it. Thirteen months of struggling, cheating, working hard and just chugging along.


Down 100
 So let's review:
13 months to lose 100 lbs.

52 pound lost Aug 18-October 25
15 lbs gained Jan-April.
Started PSMF at the end of April and June: lost 63 (including that 15).

Down from a size 30/32 to a size 20.

Walked two 5Ks. Regularly do 10K steps a day.  Feeling healthier than I have in a very long time.

Although yes I'm celebrating, I'm also cognizant of the fact I still have work to do.  My original goal weight is 37 lbs. away.  My dear friend Margery has said to me numerous times that I am going to surpass that.  I probably will.  It's too much to think about right now.  I need to have patience.  

Am I incredibly proud of myself, you betcha!  There was a time when trying to lose 5 lbs. was a battle.

I look like a different person in those 2 photos.   Shocking.

This next picture is one I took yesterday.  I am drowning in my clothes.  The pants I've owned forever and either "just fit" or were extremely tight.  This is the first time that they're baggy.  Very baggy and hanging off me.

That blouse. I love that blouse. I bought it awhile ago and wore it a few times. Then I started losing weight and realized it would be super baggy, so I bought one 2 sizes lower.

That's the one I have on in this photo.

I looked online and it's still available, but only in a size 30.  Sorry, not that desperate for it.  So in a few short weeks, I'll have to get rid of this blouse as well.


I think one of the reasons people are shocked when I do wear something flattering is they're so use to seeing baggy things and it hides a lot of my progress. 
When I wear tighter items, it shows my work off and that is what shocks people.

Interesting.....

The Hula Hoop project:
Still trying to work on that thing.  Still can't keep it going and I try every day.   Again not sure if it's me or the wrong size. I'll still keep trying though.

SO thank you again for reading. Thank you for following and your support.  Thank you!

Celebration?

OK, I'm not sure if I should really be celebrating or not.

I got on my scale this morning and based on that, I hit a big milestone.  I celebrated by allowing myself 2 cookies for breakfast.

Then I got dressed and realized, today is my Dietitian appointment.  This is the real measure. The official measure and it might not be the same....  SO

this is a preliminary post ...celebration is held off for either later today or tomorrow?  Or whenever it's "official".

SO, if you happened to be lucky enough and log on and see this post before I tell anyone ....you know something's going on. :)

One thing I did notice today though, I have only lost about 13 pounds between visits. While that is still good progress, my lapses in the diet this past month have greatly affected my weight loss total.  That is no ones fault but my own.  I chose to 'cheat big' and I know that. 

Maybe I'll still be able to celebrate in spite........check back after 3PM to see if I hit it.




Sunday, September 7, 2014

Hula hoop part 2, New Shoes, New Jeans and more....

It's Sunday!  Right now it's looking pretty nice outside. Nice to me equals the sun being out and no rain...Yay.

Well, good luck to Sarah who is running her first half marathon today! Kick Butt!!

So, if you read the last post you know I purchased a weighted hula hoop.   Yikes.  It's really freaking hard.   Am I really that uncoordinated?  I've watched tons of videos on how to keep it up, but I just can't do it.  I'm beginning to wonder if I have the wrong size or if it really is because I am not able to move enough.   I'm going to keep on trying. 

My trusty ole pair of NB
So, those of you who have followed me from the beginning know that last year I gave in and bought a pair of new shoes to help with my walking.  Prior to this, I was a payless tennis shoe girl.  $25 for a pair of shoes that lasted me about 6 months usually.  

I wear my tennis shoes to work all the time, even before I began all my walking.  I'm assuming that due to my weight, the pressure on my feet was pretty bad.  It was painful to wear anything that didn't have a strong arch & heel support.     So last year, knowing I needed a good pair of shoes, I bit the bullet.  I bought a pair of New Balance.

I wore those shoes practically every day. I walked in them MILES upon MILES. I lost a lot of weight in those things.   Best pair of shoes I ever owned.  Only now, they're looking a little worse for wear. I knew it was time to get another pair.

I hate that they cost an arm and a leg, but I love the support they give and that they last.  The other thing that sucks is my shoe size.   The beloved pair I owned were men's. My gigantic foot size was not carried in women's. 


My New pair
Yesterday after stopping at several shoe stores, we ended up back at New Balance. Again I had to get men's shoes.  I like these though. They are 'smaller' overall, so my feet do not look quite so gigantic.
At the time of my typing this up, I do not have a picture, but by the time you read this, I'll add them :)
I'll let you know how the new pair is working out.

When I returned from my TN trip, I bought myself a new pair of jeans.  They were supposed to be fitted.  I wore them yesterday (I looked quite good in my outfit btw). They've already stretched out and now I have the feeling they will not last much longer.  GRRRR.  I'm tired of having my clothes hang off me.  Is something fitted too much to ask?  

Side by Side

It's at that point that I will not be buying new clothes for a few weeks. I have a feeling I'm going down a size again.

So, progress check.  After trying to sabotage myself -I think I'm good again.   Rich is really being supportive and trying to help me as much as he can.  
So with that being said, today's GRAND TOTAL (different than what My Fitness Pal is reporting) as of this morning is......98 pounds.     Just a reminder of the 4 lb difference between MFP and the grand total.  Grand Total is the difference from what I weighed at the start of all this and MFP is what I input after I bought my tracking scale. I had lost 4 lbs in that time.  

So, almost there to the triple digits.   I have an appointment with Gretchen on Wed, so I am hoping to post the celebration then.        GO ME!!!!!!!!!!



Pretty Neat?



Saturday, September 6, 2014

Hula hoop.....



So, a few weeks back for the Biggest Loser, we had a hula hoop contest .

I can't do it.   I don't know what happened, but I cannot keep it up. I tried and tried and couldn't do it.

This frustrates me. Have I been so unable to move for so long, that I've forgotten?  
Seriously WTF?


Like all things that I find I am unable to do, I want to conquer it.   So today I purchased a weighted hula hoop.

Yeah, it's going to take me awhile........