Tough time....

I'm really going to be in need of motivation and encouraging thoughts.  

Scrambled thoughts here, so if I'm bouncing all over this post, I apologize.

You all know about the Government shut down, right?  My thoughts have been consumed with that because of how it's hitting us.   Earlier this summer, I was hit with furlough days. Luckily it went from 22 to 6 unpaid days off, but it still hurt. We're still trying to get on our feet after the break in repairs and selling the house fiasco.  Throw on top of that the furloughs, we were just treading water.

Now comes this B.S. in Congress and again we're hit. This time it could be disastrous for us if this goes on too long.   Rich is one of the lucky few who get to go to work and not get a paycheck until they come to some sort of funding solution.    
My end, we're not paid from the same funds, so we were told we were going to keep working until we run out of money.  Turns out that is next week.    I keep hoping and praying it won't last that long and it will be a worry for nothing.  I, however, am not an optimist.  I prefer to be proven wrong and then I can be happy about it.   

So as I said, I'm worried about that. No matter your party affiliation, they're all acting like selfish children.  I'm not getting into a political discussions here so that's where I'll end that.

My worries have lead me to....I can't even come up with a pleasant sounding phrase, so I'll say it like it is.
I'm freaking depressed. I know I'm not the only one in this boat--but you don't tend to think about others when it's your own worries.  I just worry how I'll pay the bills....all of them. 

SO as I said, I'm down.   Down feelings lead to --the feeling of wanting to just pig out on something. The feeling of not wanting to do anything. Very dangerous for me.   

I worked from home today and then failed to do anything else. By the time Rich got home, I had logged 700 steps.  I'm averaging 9500-10000 and I had 700.  Additionally it rained so I didn't take Duch out for her walk. Then after it stopped raining, I didn't feel like doing anything.

Around 6:30 I had 1400 steps and felt like I needed to do something but that wasn't going to be walking.  I did do 25 minutes on my bike.  Those don't register as steps though.   

I decided to do something I haven't done in years (mostly because I couldn't go long).  I made a playlist and just danced around my room for about an hour (in between running the dogs in & out and other chores).  It's 8:30 and I had to stop. It's getting close to bedtime and I want to calm down so I can sleep.

So as of right now..6345 steps in.   Not too bad for having done nothing all day.   I'm proud of myself because I use to do this all the time since I was a teen (just dance in my bedroom to my music).  The past few years that was out due to the weight and pain.  The fact that I was on my feet for 2 hours and an hour of that was spent dancing up a sweat and I'm just achy and tired...that is a good feeling.   

The endorphin's seemed to have helped my mood slightly...but once they wear off, we shall see.  

So, send positive thoughts my way if you would. I need them.