Just 3

First off, I am posting from my phone. I apologize now for any and all horrible auto corrections.

Secondly, this post is a lot more uplifting than I thought it would be.

Starting with the obvious; after two weeks of inactivity and horrible diet, i  begrudgingly stepped on the scale this morning.  I dreaded this moment.  Surprisingly no only gained 3 lbs.  I am quite pleased  it was only that.

As of yesterday I am back to trying.  Fingers crossed as I get back on track.

Yesterday I had a good experience. Besides those who have been with me since the beginning, I don't advertise to the masses about why I'm doing. So imagine my surprise yesterday when a friend here at work, who I have not seen in ages says "have you lost weight?" And "at first I thought it was you but then I wasn't sure". Made my day. Not one person(friend or family) who didn't know had said anything. Not one. So this was the first and it made my day.

Also on a good note, besides being down three sizes, my bmi is down too. I really like seeing progress in spite of the hang up.

Knee report: joint OK. MRI next week to look for tears and such.  I've walked a few times but carefully. Not wanting to over do it.

I'm setting myself a goal for January. Lose 10 more. 

There will not be a Sunday weigh in until next week/year. You can check back for a random post, but no weigh in.

Up and Down. The Journey through Pictures.

Hey. No new news. I'm petrified to get on the scale.  

I did get out to walk Duchess today. That's progress. I didn't walk far and I took it slow. Hopefully the knee won't give me too much trouble.

So instead of writing all this stuff no one cares about, I've decided to give you my weight issues in pictures.   SO let's get it started.

My first natural weight loss was a six month period in early 1991. I lost 35 lbs without even trying.
Here 


This dress was bought a month before I wore it & by the time I had to wear it to prom, we had to pin it to my bra so it wouldn't fall off.
BTW, it's not 1999--this is 1991.

I was a skinny 155 lbs. Size 14.  Even skinny, I wear what is considered plus sizes.

We've made it to 2004, let's keep going and see the weight climb.














Here's another one during this time period.

Check those skinny legs out :)


The next photo in my weight saga is from right after I was married. In this photo, I'm 185 lbs I believe and still a size 14 maybe a 16 on some items.

Still pretty good.

To the right is another 3 years later and I'm a size 16 and weight 220 lbs. Still not too bad in my opinion.

That photo was taken right after we returned from over seas.  

I was active and worked out regularly yet still gained.  However I was healthy so it wasn't all bad.















We're now forwarding to  2003: Atkins & 70 lbs lost. 



















We've made it to 2004, let's keep going and see the weight climb.

 On to 2005.  Gained some weight but still looking pretty good.   

2006, you can see my face is starting to round out, gained some more.  
  
I would love to be THIS over weight right now.  I have a ways to go and I WILL get there!!

Once Christmas is behind me I'm done! Done with the Christmas treats.

Now here's where we start climbing on up. I blame the switch in jobs and the group I was with. We loved to eat and hat pot lucks practically every week.     2007 and I'd say I'm at 285 now.I'm not happy about this fact and I know I need to do something at this point. Whether or not I can, I don't know.

In 2008 something happened that helped me get on track. NKOTB reunited. Not only did they reunite, they were doing meet & Greets. I had three scheduled and wanted to look good.  I lost about 15 lbs.  You can see it in my face the weight has started coming off again.

I would love to be THIS over weight right now.  I have a ways to go and I WILL get there!!

Work Christmas party 2008

Once Christmas is behind me I'm done! Done with the Christmas treats.

Now, this is where it starts to go to Shit.   2009 was an AWFUL year.  Rich lost his job and things were getting tough in school and life just sucked.  I was so busy and stressed at the end of this year. 

This is me on my July trip to Texas with my friends.  

xNow, we enter the zone where pictures are rare. This is when I was ill and not feeling well.  Pictures are few and far between because I didn't go anywhere. I sat at home in pain. I hurt and I was miserable and I gained and gained.   This picture is from DEC of 2010.     I'm not visibly "round". I have a big middle and my face is round.  I tried to wear things that covered my middle.   I didn't want my picture taken at all but with my family, you can't avoid. it.

The next pictures are from 2011. I am more "active" with friends so there are photos from this year but at this point in time, you can see just how big I've gotten from the earlier pictures. There is no "hiding' my weight gain.

By June, I'm finally on meds that work and more active but it's still too late for me weight wise.

Jan 2011

Nov 2011

AND NOW.... 2012.

 So here we now are ready for the worst of the worst.  The absolute horrible high weight.  

This is where it's at it's worst.  I'm now RIDICULOUSLY Obese. I'm in so much pain and I'm MISERABLE

Welcome to 2013.   

This photo was taken in February at Rich's birthday celebration. LOOK at that. I'm ROUND. It is obvious all over.   It's sad. I'm miserable. I hurt to stand. I hurt to walk. I hurt.

August 2013

August 2013

There is absolutely NO hiding the weight. 

The above picture was taken 1 week before the journey really began.

Taken one of the last times I wore that outfit.  I'm down 30 I "think".   I can no longer wear that blouse.

 Looking better. 

Down 30

Down 40

Now we're at 50 lbs and stuck. Through no fault but my own.  Want to know where on the previous photos I am ?

Go back to Jan 2011, that is where I am at now.   

Dec 2013

Dec 2013

Down 50 LBS

My weight journey in pictures part 1.    Part 2 hopefully in a few months.

Definitely not a good day. I need help.

So day # whatever of my bum knee.  It was stiff and awkward and NOW I feel the arthritis /joint pain.  The usual bone on bone pain I feel.   Additionally my calf still hurts like I had a charlie horse.  Throw in the fact that I worked from home, Yeah...I sat on my butt.

I weighed myself.    4 lbs.  I GAINED 4 lbs.   I'm.......so pissed off at myself.   It's my own fault. I can't stop snacking.   I KNOW I should.  I KNOW what this leads to but I just can't stop.

Then insult to injury....

I got a Christmas card from my Aunt & Uncle.  They decided to be nice and include some pictures of Rich & I from this summer.   I am so sick..   My God.  Knowing you're fat.  Knowing you're over weight is one thing.  But to see it so blatantly obvious in pictures. I'm just sick.

Someone needed to smack me on the head and say LAURIE YOU'RE OBESE!   I ....these pictures just shook me. I'm soo freaking depressed right now.

I need to get back on track.   How can I be some people's inspiration if I'm just heading back to what I was. 

Do you know that this knee thing really upsets me. I've gotten so use to walking and moving and the fact that I'm to be taking it easy is killing me. The fact that I'm eating horribly is making me fall in that downward spiral.

How the hell did I get here?  I told myself once I would never be one of those older overweight people.

GUESS WHAT?  

I will eventually share these pictures with you.  I just can't do it right now.  I can't pull them out to look at them again.   I just want to cry.

So TODAY sucks.
  

Article from CNN

http://fox8.com/2013/12/16/woman-loses-110-pounds-to-join-the-army/

Dec 15, 2013

Happy Sunday.
I'm not updating my weight.   The last two-three weeks there has not been any movement. Well, other than an addition of 2 lbs, there hasn't been any.   I'm going to say that is a success. Even though I have been horribly off the way I had been eating, the fact that I hadn't gained more is a huge success.
I'm really really trying to refocus here. I am.   I can give all sorts of excuses but it's really just me.   I'm, I don't know, not into it right now.   Am I feeling blue? Am I overly hungry? Am I overly emotional? Yes, no,maybe?  All I know is focusing as been very difficult.  
To add insult to injury, literally, my left knee is REALLY messed up.  It's not the arthritis pain that I've had. It has NOTHING to do with the usual knee issues I've had.  This is a whole other ball game.  The whole outer part of my knee is messed up. Straightening or bending it is scream out loud painful.  I am walking with a cane because some weight or stress at the wrong angle is horrible.   I'm on a mixture of prednisone and cortisone and have a scheduled appointment with my Orthopedic doctor. (Sad that I have one).
So I'm looking into other ways to "exercise" since we know that walking is out.   I have a few ideas so we shall see.   I'm going to focus extra hard on the eating now that my exercise is out.
Poor Duchess. She's going to go nuts and drive me nuts when I do not walk her.
I'll keep you informed on the knee. Here's to hoping it's not serious. I do not need that.
See you next time.

Houston we have a problem....

First I gained 2 lbs.  Not happy. My own fault.


Secondly: Something is seriously wrong with my knee. It keeps popping and shifting when i go to move. It hurts.    I'm going to the Express Clinic tomorrow morning.

Edit: went to the clinic & yes my knee is swollen. Yes it is not the usual area of psin. Yes it's gotten worse as the morning drags on.

I was given a corticosteroid to hopefully help with the pain and inflamation. Now I am stuck on the couch with nothing to do. Someone keep me company............

It's been awhile

ORIGINALLY POSTED 12/10 on the wrong blog. DOH!
Sorry.  Between Thanksgiving and my trip to Tenn, I've not had time to concentrate on the blog.   Unfortunately I haven't had time to focus on weight loss either.

First off:  Several people have mentioned or asked about leaving a comment here on the blog.  In order to do that you need an account with one of the providers in the drop down box.   My recommendation is if you have a GMAIL account, use that to access Blogger and create an account to be able to leave comments.   
If you do not have a GMAIL account, get one.   It's free.

Ok.

So let's get caught up.   
While on my little vacation to Tenn, I didn't really focus on eating properly. The weather was also wet and we were only able to walk one day.
I didn't pig out but I didn't eat right.   The good news is as of this morning, there was no weight gain. There was also no weight loss.  I figure that's progress.

Clothing wise:

I wore a pair of pants last week that had an extra button added because it use to be tight.  I'm using the original button.   There is about an inch and a half between the two, so that is progress.

Another sign of progress: my parents scale had a weight "limit" and last time I was there, it wouldn't work on me.  This time it did.

Size wise.  Depending on how you look at it determines how many sizes I am down.
Women's plus size clothing comes in one of two ways for sizes.

The first is dual sizes.   10/12  14/16  18/20  etc.   The second is the straight size: 10 12 14 16.

Going by the first sizes: I am down 2 1/2 sizes       Going by the straight sizes, I am down 3.  Yay.
I just received my most recent clothing purchase and the 2 pair of pants that I bought fit just right.    

Today I had planned to walk the Duchess twice but my knee is all messed up.  So is my ankle & shin.  Don't know if it is weather related or something else.


Now that my vacation is coming to an end, I'm hoping to get back in focus.

Thanks!

just for fun

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/celebrity/news/fat-girl

busy busy busy

I didn't weigh myself this morning. I'm quite afraid to in all honesty.   While Thanksgiving isn't normally a meal I enjoy eating, this year I made a kick ass stuffing and had several refills. Plus there is leftovers.....

I'm back on track though and truthfully, it was hard. While I got to spend the holidays with my nieces and nephews (and later this week I can say I've seen them all), it was quite sad.   I miss my family.  I enjoy seeing members of Rich's family but it is never the same as your own.  Plus I have all this stuff going on in my head....I almost was on the verge of saying SCREW IT!

Watching what you eat is hard people.   Hard! It is such a slippery slope.   

As I said as of this morning, I'm with renewed "vigor" I guess you could say.  

I've been busy this morning.  I had the Christmas decorations and presents all wrapped up before Thanksgiving. This is normally the weekend I would do it, but I had time earlier this week. All that's left is the lights on the outside and on the inside of the windows. I'm taking a break before I do that to write this.

Next week is quite BUSY for me and I will have NO time next weekend to do any of this.

The big thing this year is that there are actually presents.  Last year was very very bad for us financially.  We told the family no gifts. We couldn't afford to do any.  It's still tight but we have a bit more room to get small gifts this year.   A small budget is still better than no budget.  

I love giving gifts. If I could, I'd do it all the time not expecting anything in return.   

Another difficult thing this week has been Galen. He's running into more difficulty than in the past. We've had to assist him getting up more times this week than we had in the past.  Mentally that dog is present. He's still demanding of his snacks. He's still a piggy with food. He still is happy to get attention. His body however isn't cooperating and it saddens me. Galen was my first fur-baby.   He may get on my nerves with his stubbornness and old man attitude but he's still my #1 boy.  Losing Goldberg was hard and I still miss that dog more than you can imagine.   Duchess has helped but it still won't stop the pain I feel having to even consider THAT option.

So as you see, it's been very emotional for me.   Emotions + me + food= a disaster waiting to happen.  Keep me in your thoughts praying for encouragement for me.

I'm very very achy this morning.  Then again, I've been moving furniture and bending here and there.  PLUS I forgot (again) to take my pills.   I need to keep a stash up here.   ON top of that, Rich has the flu. He had a temperature last night as well as some stomach distress.  Rich ill is ..I can only imagine comparing it to a child.   So while he camps out in the basement I'm left to do all this other stuff.

I really do not want to go to work tomorrow.   Praying that the flu stays away from me. I said I had a very busy week coming up.  A lot to do.   Plus it's going to emotionally draining for me on Thursday as my kiddies go to the babysitter.

I do hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving.   Some of you should check your Facebook events as there is something waiting for you. 

Have a great first day of December.

XO

Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all.

Some more.....

This will be quick as I am posting this from my phone. Total lost as of this morning: 51.4.  This is the total that I have been keeping track of.  Add a few more lbs and that is probably the official total.

If I don't post anymore before Thursday, happy thanksgiving.

Struggles

Hey. I know I mentioned I’d post earlier this week, but it has been crazy here.  I plan to write every evening but come 8 or 8:30 and forget it. I’m out for the count.

Today’s subject: Struggle.

Lately I am struggling a lot. Well, it’s not the end of the world but I still worry.

My adjusted daily calorie intake is 1900 calories.  That means I should be in-taking that many calories a day.

This is the adjusted total the dietitian and I came up with at my last appointment. I don’t know what it is because I was able to do 1900 calories easily in the past. As of late, I’m HUNGRY. Starving.  Eating through my snacks and lunch before lunchtime arrives. 

I’ve actually had a few days over the 1900. 

Now, the 1900 calories is an adjustment down from 2100 calories that I was doing.  So, I’m not TOO upset as I am still in the range I was doing prior. I just want to maintain the 1900. It actually will help with the weight loss coming off quicker. 

The GOOD note is if I wanted to lose 1.5lbs a week, I’m very ok.  I can in take 2,627 calories and still lose that much a week.   Number wise, I’m ok, even with my slip ups as of late.

But I don’t want to be OK, I want to be great.

But back to the hunger: I eat about every hour and a half to every 2 hours.  Most of that is snacking.   Like I said, lately it’s been very hard as I’m constantly hungry and the last week it’s been out of control.

The past two days I’ve mixed it up.  For my breakfast and snacks, I’m trying to make sure I’m taking in more protein.  The protein keeps you feeling less hungry longer.

So far the past two days have been successful.

I’ve taken to eating peanuts with my breakfast. The snacks  I’ve been eating are celery & peanut butter, grapes, low fat cheese sticks, sugar free jello (10 calories), or a protein bar to name a few.  That & I down the water while I snack.

So, as much as I’ve been making progress, I stumble. I struggle and I hate it.  However to cheer me up, I took a photo the other day.  I’m going to leave it here for you to compare J

Ouch.........

So my feet are killing me. I can barely walk. No walk tonight for me. Rich pointed out that the weather is changing and I forgot to take my meds. Crappy day.

November 17: Happy Sunday

Good Morning Folks.

No weigh in today. The scale is all over lately.   It isn't consistent. One minute it shows me down a few more pounds than I am. The next it doesn't move.  SO no real number to report. I'm hovering close to 50 lbs-depending on the time of day.

I didn't weigh myself for breakfast so anything I do now is off.   Check back in a few days.

First I would like to thank you all for taking the time to read and even comment on my blogs.  I DO read them as everyone is sent to me via email. I may not respond by the time I get online but I do read each one and appreciate it.

I REALLY want to thank you to those who have even gone out of their way to send me personal notes of encouragement. Each and every one mean the world.   

I started this blog as a way to get my jumbled thoughts out and maybe just maybe help one person.  If I've done that, then it's all worth it.   Another reason I keep this up is to have just one more person to be held accountable to.   I'm less likely to fail if I have to tell someone, "I gained".   

I was originally going to do a post on "tools" to help lose weight but a friend's comment on a post helped me decide today's post.

I have mentioned that I'm hungry a lot.  I eat about every two hours.   It seems I"m always hungry.  My lunch bag during the week is packed with a lot of items to keep me sated during the work day.

Now , I don't have huge meals every two hours. NO, I have small snacks.   One of the things I had discussed with my dietitian is just how hungry I am some days.   

The goal to keep feeling satisfied is high protein snacks.  Your body takes longer to process protein so it keeps you feeling full a bit longer.

Now in addition to the list she shared with me, I like to take these snacks with me.  
Sugar Free Jello Pudding
Sugar Free Jello
Low Fat String Cheese
Peanuts
Apple

This is a High-Protein Snack list from the Cleveland Clinic.

You may not like items in this list, but it can help spark a thought to trade out one item with something else you like. 

Protein shakes:  In the beginning when I was on the road to surgery, I drank many of these.  I've eased off and am exhausting my current supply.   I've taken to drinking a glass of milk with some Ovaltine.  Lower in calories and sugar and just as filling.

I hoped that help!    

Until next time.....

Yay

Someone who apparently didn't know I was on this track stopped me just now during my walk to tell me: I've been meaning to tell you that you look like you've lost a bunch off weight.

So happy!

EDIT:

Also, an old Supervisor saw me yesterday and said "You're looking really really good"  

Yay....

No interesting title here

Hello again. 

Well, today I met with the Dietitian.  In two and a half weeks, I lost 7 more lbs.  
Go me, right?  

One of the things we discussed was the difficulties I have been having the past week and a half. Lately, I've been starving. Really really starving.  I've had difficulties staying under my calorie goal.  While I'm still in the weight loss range, I've had a few days over.  I"m not too proud of that but she told me not to worry about it.

We did review my food diary of MyFitnessPal and modified my daily goals (protein, carbs, and fat). We dropped my calorie intake as well.  I was given a few handouts and pointers to keep me on track and reduce the hunger.

We shall see how it works.   She's still extremely happy with my progress.   We did talk about that if I wanted to lose all the weight, it is a 2 year process.   On the surface, that is almost enough to make me say HECK with this and have surgery.

I was looking at some of the before and after pics posted on the bariatric group people have posted.  While they look FABULOUS, I see the excessive skin.   I know I'll have some, but mine will not be anywhere as bad as these people.   

My being vain will hopefully keep me on track.

Again, thank you for the words of encouragement.  They really mean a lot to me.  This is a hard process and all the support helps.

Not what you were looking for

There will be no real weight loss posted this week. I've apparently reached a plateau or it may be something else. That I will follow up with next week. I'm not ready yet for disappointment.

I've decided to do a good news time of post instead.

Last week I had a dentist appointment, so I was out of work early. Right across from the dentist's office is an Avenue.   

I decided to stop in and try some clothing on because I was curious as to what size I am in right now.
I tried on a handful of items and I think it's safe to say I'm about 2 sizes down.

The discard pile continues to grow and I am reclaiming items in my closet.   So while I'm currently at a stand still, I do have progress.

One of my tank tops that I bought at the beginning of the summer is now a bed time item because I cannot wear it in public. 

As I stated earlier, I'm stuck at 44 lbs.   Not too happy about hitting a plateau but it wasn't like I wasn't expecting it.   I will just have to change it up a bit this week and hopefully will get back on track.

Decisions. Decisions.

One thing I do not have an issue with this week is lack of topics.   Currently I have three items I want to talk about but I'm trying to keep this to one subject.   

Hmmmm, Ok. I am going to go with this one....

I'd like to think I'm not normally a vain person, but this has been bugging me lately.

The number of people "in the know" isn't that large on the whole.  Those at work that I talk to on a daily basis are aware of my journey and blog.  They're some of my cheerleaders.  Outside of work, my immediate family, my friends/neighbors, & a few others know of my bariatric option and/or the blog.

Almost every single one of them that have seen me or see me on a regular basis comment on how it's noticeable (my weight loss) and how good I've been looking. 

In fact I had 3 comments yesterday and today mentioning how I look happier, healthier or how I carry myself differently (more pep in my step).     I also had two texts from my dear friends who sent me lovely and encouraging messages on my struggle.   To those who know, it's 'obvious'.  

Minus one, how come no one else has noticed.  OR noticed and have not said anything?  

It would be nice to hear from someone not aware of my current weight loss. Just a little something?

I know it has to be obvious if I have to retire a bunch of clothing due to the fact that they are the equivalent of a sack right now.

So, I'm asking you all --if you see someone who looks happier or healthier, say something.   Sometimes that little thing will go a long way.   
I'm not asking to be the center of attention, just a "Hey Laurie! Did you lose some weight?" or "You're looking good".  Sadly I heard these comments more when I WASN'T losing.

You never know when you're going to make someone's day--even if they aren't losing or whatever.... 

This past weekend...

Sorry, no weight loss update yet.   I might do it tomorrow morning, if I remember. 

Saturday was rainy but I did manage to get in a short walk with Duchess.   Additionally I was on and off the bike all day.

Sunday, while chilly, we did get to go on a scenic walk of Beaver Creek.  While we've been there before & I believe I've shared pictures, this time was so much more "pretty" thanks to the fall leaves.

Discovered more clothing that I can never wear out again.  I had this tank top that I purchased earlier this year to wear under a few things.   I went to wear it on Saturday & discovered it hung pretty low.  Sweet!   That is until I noticed it hangs so low, I can't wear it with a bra.   
It was transferred to my PJ drawer.   Another item bites the dust.

I also found a few articles that once were too tight but fit co comfortably now.   So while I am losing items, I am also gaining items.   

 

So that's all I have for now.   I'm sure I"ll have more later this week.

Happy Halloween

Hey. I haven't had much to say lately as I haven't been feeling too hot.
Monday night or Tuesday morning I woke up with the worst sore throat.   I figured I was getting sick as whenever I get sick, it starts in the throat and moves to the chest area.

This time, it wouldn't "move". I had the sore throat for 3 days. It is painful and today it felt like someone was stabbing my throat.

I was lucky enough to get a doctors appointment.  They tested me for strep but the initial test was negative. They still sent it out.   After talking with this doctor, we discussed just how often I get sick. Additionally how often it turns into bronchitis.   We traced it back to when I started the meds. Turns out some of the meds I'm on compromise my immune system and THAT is possibly why I am prone to infections.

So while the test came back as negative for strep, they're treating me as if I have it due to my susceptibility for infections.

Joy Joy.

Weight loss wise, this visit was very informative.

Item number one learned: my weight is down according to their scales. I am down 50 lbs per my medical record.  (Going back to August 16).

Item number two learned: My blood pressure is down!  It's back to the normal range it was BEFORE I got ill. My pulse was down as well. Rich of course had to point out it might be down due to being ill.   

Item number three learned:  This didn't hit me until i was walking out of the exam room.
The chair!  Normally it's very snug. I got in and out of it this time with no issues.

Other item learned: Cepacol! Why hasn't anyone told me about this stuff before? With the number of times I get ill--this would have been very handy to have. 

I don't care for the tongue & mouth numbing portion of it but the throat numbing???? HEAVEN! 
I'm on antibiotics and hope to return to work tomorrow.

Today's steps are a loss. Sad to say seeing as I did over 11K the past three days in spite of my throat issues.

Normally I would be getting ready to climb into bed but I took a 2 hr nap when I got back from the doctor, so I'm not quite there yet.

Other newsworthy items:
I've been eating real candy AND I had a piece of real pizza.

Rich bought those Reese PB footballs. 90 calories each. At the end of the day, I've been having one.   They're soooooo good.  I keep wanting more but I don't.   I know if I give in, it's a very slippery slope.   It is nice to enjoy something not healthy though.

The pizza. Our big bosses bought us lunch for our division meeting.  I had one piece.
It was disappointing and made me feel overly stuffed.   I skipped the yummy looking chocolate cake though. Wish I had had that instead.     

I think I'm pretty much in the mindset to be able to eat other things and not go over board.  I do have a pretty good support system at work and at home.  I'm very lucky to have that.   

So, until next time....Happy Halloween (no we didn't give out candy.....)